Fake It Until You Make It

“Man’s mind once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions”

                                                                             Oliver Wendell Holmes

 

As an admitted self-talk, introspective, skeptic, and somewhat cynical (realistJ) person, I can tell you this with complete conviction: these traits are an extremely helpful mishmash of well discerned cognitive processes when it is used in an effort to serve others; however, it is dangerous, pessimistic, and self-destructive when the talk, thoughts, and actions are internalized and left un-checked.

All psychological studies show that our internal dialogue has an impact on what we think, and therefore how we feel. Our internal dialogue creates our perspective…our perspective creates our internal dialogue.

The thoughts and dialogue become so intertwined that it’s almost impossible to recognize the “self” from the thoughts.

Eckhart Tolle once said, “what a liberation to realize that the 'voice in my head' is not who I am.” ‘Who am I, then?' “I am the one observing the voice”

So how do we begin this journey of self-enlightenment?

Becoming enlightened begins with presence. You have to be in the moment long enough to recognize the internal chatter that most times are filled with negative self-destructive thoughts.

One of the most beneficial practices I have ever used in an effort to control/understand my thoughts is called Neuro Linguistic Programing (NLP).

Neuro-Brain/Awareness

Linguistic-Words/Thoughts

Programming-Input/Processing

I’m not trying to talk to you like you’re a third grader; however, breaking down complex sounding programs can be very helpful in understanding the true meaning.

Let me begin by saying that most psychologist disagree with NLP. I think the discrediting has more to do with some of the claims made by many “self-help” gurus than it does the obvious benefits that occur from rationally discerned thoughts and the creation of new dialogue.

The slander regarding NLP and is probably not intentional. It seems to me to be a misunderstanding of what NLP is. And I lay the blame for that at the feet of an awful lot of people who have "sold" NLP (just as the health industry “sold” diet plans) as a self-help method, a way to control other people, and as a quick fix for every problem. NLP is none of those things, but without selling to the sizzle of NLP, they wouldn’t make any money.

What is NLP?

NLP is personal awareness, recognition/changing the internal dialogue, and modeling behavior of successful people.

 Modeling Behavior:

If someone is good at something and I want to be good at it, I can learn from how they do it … how they think about it… what they believe about it, what they consider to be important… what they pay attention to and what they ignore… the sequence of mental and physical steps they follow…and so on. Modeling allows you to implement a well-traveled successful path to do get similar results quickly. Not necessarily instantly, as it depends on how much actual practice is required, but much more quickly than a path less traveled. You learned a lot of what you know by means of trial and error, making mistakes and learning from them, throwing away what doesn't work and keeping what does. It's possible for all of us to learn the steps of success (mentally and physically) from those successful people who came before us.

Internal Dialogue:

People ask me all the time. “How do you eat the same thing every day?”…I respond, “How could I not eat the same food every day?”

I intentionally say what I want to be true.

The next comment is usually, “Oh…so what you’re saying is fake it until you make it”?

Absolutely not! What I’m saying is become aware of your thoughts (internal dialogue) and see if it is in line with your goals. If you’re saying, “I’ll never be able to eat right”, then most likely you’re right.

Awareness the first step, the second step is writing down your goals and the words necessary to achieve those goals.

If weight loss is the goal, replace, “I’ll never lose weight” with “I’m going to become healthy”.

Just because you’re replacing negative words with goal driven words doesn’t mean you’re faking it…it means you are thinking rationally (action) rather than emotionally (acceptance).

Rational discernment is the road less traveled. It’s akin to swimming upstream; there will always be resistance coming from the familiar steam of habitual emotional reactions.

Emotional thinking is strong and reactive. They can carry you downstream with little or no effort. If you jump into a river and don’t swim, you end up where the river takes you. If you swim, it will be hard; however, you will have better control of your destination.

Changing the destination is changing perception...its learning to see things in a clearer truer perspective with less biases. Everyone sees the world different. Two people can have the same experience, yet have very different interpretations of what happened.

NLP won't make you a CEO, but if you are a CEO, it'll make you a better one. The same is true no matter your goal, vocation or avocation. Implementing NLP won't solve all your life’s problems; however, it'll allow you to become more aware of your old patterns of thinking, to a new pattern of perceiving that will allow you to be more successful and achieve all you’ve ever dreamed of.

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way”

-Viktor E. Frankl