“You will find only what you bring in.”
~ Yoda
“You cannot change what you do not
acknowledge”
This part
may be easier to understand…but it may be more difficult to admit?
There is no
doubt about the fact that we all come biologically hard wired with an array of
genetic tendencies, but most all of our beliefs/actions manifest from our
environment. Our family, friends, schools, and geography play a huge role in
our behaviors.
Although our
environment conditions us, we cannot escape the hard wired structures of our
brain.
The Limbic
system has an area within it called the Amygdala (AM). The AM plays a key role in the processing
of emotions. In humans and other
animals, this mid-brain brain structure is
linked to both the fear and pleasure responses.
The Amygdala
is also an area where most of our memory is stored. A neurologist once said, “The mind sees what it remembers.” The AM is the area remembering. The Neo-Cortex NC (good wolf) and AM (bad
wolf) are in constant
negotiations. Together they develop a consensus regarding an appropriate
compromise between emotional memories and reason and logic.
However,
recent studies show that NC (specifically the frontal lobe) isn't
completely developed until we’re in our mid-20s. This is why it is so important for parents to act as the “executive director” for their kid’s
development to become healthy critical thinkers. This also explains why teenagers (and sometimes adults) often seem so self-centered.
Kids may
post inappropriate things on twitter, partake in risky behavior, and seem very
selfish. All of these things are a reflection of their developmental stage. They aren't yet at that place where they're
thinking about (or capable of thinking about) the consequences of their
behavior toward other people. That requires insight……insight that comes from a “maturely” developed frontal lobe.
Neural
scientist Joe LeDoux said, “As things now
stand, the amygdala has a greater influence on the NC than the NC has on the
amygdala, allowing emotional arousal to dominate and control thinking.” (DeLoux,
1996, p. 303)
This
confirms the prior Aristotle quote regarding The Blind Drives of Biology…
"The lives of many humans are
governed by nothing more than the pleasure and pain that comes from the
satisfaction and frustration of appetites. Appetites and reason are part of
every human, but his or her character is revealed by which of the two
dominates”
Is this true
for you?
If so, let’s
take a look at the conditioned responses we all have…
~ Walk into
any house with bread baking in the oven and it will take you back to those
early years at home and invoke emotions of comfort and safety.
~ Hearing a
song, “More than a feeling” and it
will take you back to your high school or college years and invoke feelings of
dating, parties, and staying up late studying for tests.
The amygdala
does this without any conscious effort on our part.
For many
this is a blessing… remembering the simple times in life provides a sense of
youth, innocence, and autonomy.
But for many
it can be a curse… reminding one of uncomfortable times paired with associations
that lead to destructive behaviors.
These
associations are unique for each individual depending on our experiences.
For
instance…
~ If you grew up in a dysfunctional home where neglect
was involved, the smell of baked bread could cause extreme anxiety.
~ If you had a horrible fight with your boyfriend when
the song, “more than a feeling” was playing… Boston songs may create an adverse
reaction.
It’s all
perspective, “You will find only what you
bring in.”
The
neurological narrative of the AM is
one of emotional memories and the pairing of attachments. (I.e. food, drugs, alcohol, sex, etc.).
If a person
is having a negative experience, the drive to resolve the conflict is usually
strong. Freud referred to this resolution as, “seeking pleasure to avoid pain.”
In today’s
society, food does the job of resolving pain…..it’s cheap, abundant, legal, and
socially acceptable.
Win a game…
go out to eat.
After
church… go out to eat.
Straight A’s
on a report card… go out to eat
Boyfriend/girlfriend
break up… go out to eat.
Stressed at
work… go out to eat (or have a drink).
The pairing
of food in these emotional situations is known as the classical conditioned
response…. also known as learned reflexive response. On the surface these
moments seem benign… below the surface is a complex neural netting that creates
the habits that define most of our lives. “At
first we create our habits and then our habits create us.”
“To learn we must
unlearn”
~ Yoda
Before we
can rehabilitate our behaviors we must learn to identify the antecedents. (Antecedent… A thing or event that existed
before or logically precedes another)
“If you don’t like the
crop…don’t sow the seed”
If you’re an
adult reading this, your seed has been sown. It will be hard to change, but
change is always possible. The steps I recommend will be a guideline for you
and me… and a great start in life for our kids.
“For every complex
problem there is an easy answer….and it is wrong”
~ H. L. Mencken
For a habit
to be broke there must first be an awareness of the underlining issues (antecedents).
The goal, as
Freud explained is “To make the un-conscious
conscious.”
Many
psychological studies have found that the “ABC’s
of Behavioral Modification” provide the best structure for
consciousness–raising and behavioral modification.
The ABC’s of Behavioral Modification
A Refers to the antecedent, or the event or activity that
immediately precedes a problem behavior. (Memories,
associations, stressors)
B Refers to observed
behavior. (Eating, drinking, drugs)
C Refers to the
consequence, or the event that immediately follows a response. (Health problems, family problems, law
problems)
We must also change the way we use
food.
1. Food is
not love… its nourishment.
2. Food is
not the reward… the reward is the work done well…. A sense of accomplishment.
3. Food is
not comfort… comfort is overcoming uncomfortable moments with logic and reason.
4. Food does
not overcome adversity… logic and reason overcomes adversity.
(Handling
adversity with logic and reason becomes very addictive!)
If you’ll
notice, each of the food issues is emotional manifestations of the limbic
system.
Each of my
opposing suggestions regarding food is logical directions of the neo-cortex.
I guess the
Indian grandfather had it right… when it comes to the bad wolf verses the good
wolf, the one who wins is the one you feed.
"Self-knowledge entails
an understanding of our fears and other emotions, habits, and personal
relationships. It implies an understanding of the possibilities that are open
to us, as well as a realistic sense of our limitations. And it implies an
understanding of our strengths, weaknesses, and faults.”