Please…Don’t be Stupid. Frustrations!

“You can’t handle the Truth”-A Few Good Men

“I’m frustrated!”

Why are you frustrated?

“I can’t lose weight”

“I can’t build muscle”

“I can’t lose belly fat”

When I hear comments like these, I always ask, “what are you eating?” or “what type of exercise program do you do?”

Probably 90% to 95% of the time after hearing what they’re doing I end up thinking, “Why are you frustrated?”

There’s nothing that evokes frustrations more than unrealistic expectations.

When it comes to… “I can’t lose weight”

It’s simple…you’re intake is exceeding your caloric expenditure. (You’re consuming more than you’re burning)

And that’s the Truth.

“I can’t build muscle”

My first question is, “how many calories are you eating… and what is your macronutrient profile?”

Most people don’t know how many calories they’re eating, or what their diet is composed of.

And to make matters worse… they don’t care.

They just want change.

My second question is, “What type of workout program are you on?”                                        

If they say “orange theory”, “CrossFit”, or they run a lot; again, silently, I think, “Why do you think you would be building muscle?”

Building muscle with those programs is the equivalent of playing ping pong to become a better tennis player.

Training specificity is the most important component in the success of any program.

That is the Truth!

How about goals?

“Well… I’m not sure?”

In the absence of clearly-defined goals, we mistake motion for action and become frustrated at the lack of results.

Keep in mind; if you are vague in your efforts your results will be vague.

Before you can reach any destination, you have to have a map. If the map is flawed, the trip will take longer than expected.

With no clear defined goal, there can be no clear defined results.

This is the Truth!

 “I can’t lose belly fat”

Please…don’t be stupid.

Truth!

From my personal perspective, today’s society doesn’t want the truth.  We want comfort and entertainment.

I think our main problem with the Truth is that it requires us to take responsibility. And along with responsibility comes accountability.

I believe that there is nothing more frightening to most people than the thought of responsibility and accountability.

Because then… we have to own it.

C.S. Lewis eloquently stated the dilemma that one incurs when seeking comfort over the Truth,

“If you look for truth, you may find comfort in the end; if you look for comfort you will not get either comfort or truth, only soft soap and wishful thinking to begin, and in the end, despair.”

The Truth is the answer.

The Truth is the way.

“Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." –John 8:32

Please…Don’t be Stupid. Commit!

“Tell me with whom you consort with and I will tell you who you are.”- Goethe


Studies show that our social environment plays a major role in our perception of life and our commitment to change. If you feel you are developmentally stuck in a growth rut and lack the ability to commit, take a look at these three main areas of your life:

-Relationships (who you spend time with)

-Place (where you spend your time)

-Activity (what you do with your time)

Seneca, a famous Stoic philosopher had this to say who and how we spend our time:

“Choose someone whose way of life as well as words, and whose very face as mirroring the character that lies behind it, have won your approval. Be always pointing him out to yourself either as your guardian or as your model. There is a need, in my view, for someone as a standard against which our characters can measure themselves. Without a ruler to do it against you won’t make crooked straight.”

This is simply where the rubber meets the road. If any of the above mentioned are problems, what actions are you willing to take to change your situation?

-Are you willing to change relationships?

-Are you willing to spend time in different places?

-Are you willing to change your current activities?

If you’re not will to do different, be prepared to have much of the same.

Getting stuck in a growth rut is really a reflection of our inability to commit to change. The person who we’ve become is known and comfortable; we know what to expect, and the pain isn’t unbearable…yet.

This type of lifestyle can go on for years and years; that is until the pain of staying the same exceeds the fear of the unknown.

Gail Sheeby once said, “Growth demands a temporary surrender of security.” 

Acknowledgement is the first step in the growth process because it requires you to relinquish an attachment to a false identity. When you surrender the false self, the true self emerges.

It’s also an understanding that things don’t change unless we change.

There is no doubt that changing is a hard thing to do…but so is staying the same.

So the next time you’re feeling like your drowning in the sea of life, pull yourself up with these three easy steps:

-Honest introspection

-Goal specificity

-Commitment to the process

“The irony of commitment is that it's deeply liberating -- in work, in play, in love. The act frees you from the tyranny of your internal critic, from the fear that likes to dress itself up and parade around like rational hesitation. To commit is to remove your head as the barrier to your life.”
― Anne Morris