“It’s not who you are that holds you back; it’s who you think you’re not.”
I have just finished reading “The Power of Habit” by Charles Duhigg. In his thought provoking book, Duhigg skillfully displays the uniquely human interaction between conscious decisions and sub-conscious habits that define us as individuals.
Duhigg referred to the basic structure of our habits as “The Habit Loop.”
“The Habit Loop” is comprised of three components…
~ Cue (emotional stimuli…stress, anxiety, etc.)
~Routine (the movement/ behavior that follows the cue)
~Reward (What are the payoff/consequences?)
(This is also known as the ABC’s of behavioral modification)
Think about the chain reactions of our nutritional habits…In the presence of stimuli (stress) which has accompanied a movement (food) will on its recurrence tend to be followed by that movement. In other words, what you do in the presence of stress will tend to be repeated if the situation recurs.
So this three step process should be easy to change… right? … Just observe the cue that elicits the undesirable act…preform another act in the presences of that cue.
While I agree with Duhigg on all of his assertions (I do them), unfortunately, it’s just not that easy. The first step is the willingness to acknowledge the cue.
“You cannot change what you do not acknowledge” ~ Dr. Phil
~What happens if we don’t want to recognize the cue?
~What if recognizing the cue means taking responsibility for our actions?
~What if acknowledging ourselves exposes our weaknesses?
~What if becoming aware of this stimulus presents uncomfortable memories?
Oprah Winfrey once said… “The thing you fear most has no power. Your fear of it is what has the power. Facing the truth really will set you free”
As we look within our own world, we scrutinize most things…the price of a car…the best flat screen TV’s…the most economical plan for our I-phones. But when it comes to our habits, we carefully avoid/repress examining the emotions that brings forth the cues of our behavior.
To keep cues at bay, we frantically struggle to fill every moment of our day with some form of diversion…work, computers, television, movies, radio, sports, food, alcohol, drugs, parties. Perhaps we distract ourselves because looking at our lives confronts us with our lack of meaning, our disappointments, our loneliness, and the unbelievably briefness of our time here on this planet.
Pascal may have been right when he observed … “if our condition were truly happy we should not need to divert ourselves from thinking about it…the sole cause of our unhappiness is that we do not know how to sit quietly in our room.”
Maybe the reason we find it difficult to sit quietly and examine the cues that create our behavior, is because doing so makes us anxious?
But only until we examine our lives, we can do little to make it less unhappy and more fulfilling.
"Know thyself… The unexamined life is not worth living” ~ Socrates
It is my hope that by discussing these issues/cues, we can bring awareness to that which incapacitates our ability to confront and overcome the obstacles that prevent us from living a full healthy life.
Habits aren’t our destiny…but our destiny will be determined by the habits we create.
"You are searching for the magic key that will unlock the door to the source of power; and yet you have the key in your own hands, and you may use it the moment you learn to control your thoughts." ~Napoleon Hill
