The Diet ‘khor ba (Circling)

“I yearn to be free of pain, but rush straight to it; I long for happiness, but foolishly crush it like an enemy” -Shantideva

‘khor ba, in Tibetan means circling, This “circling” is an endless round of compulsive flight and fixation. We feel compelled to struggle ahead completely blinded by the emotional highs that bring us right back to where we first began.


Optimism- This time is different!!!

Excitement- This is new!!!

Thrill- I’m seeing changes!!!!!

Cockiness- Haters gonna hate!!!!

Euphoria- Look at me now!!!!!

Anxiety- How can I keep this up?

Denial- This can’t be happening?

Fear- What will they think?

Desperation- What will I do?

Panic- No!!!!

Capitulation- I quit

Despondency- There’s absolutely no hope

Depression- There’s nothing left

Hope relief- This sounds interesting?

Optimism- This time is different!!!


“If you look for truth, you may find comfort in the end; if you look for comfort you will not get either comfort or truth, only soft soap and wishful thinking to begin, and in the end, despair.”
-C.S. Lewis

IT’S NOT THE FOOD!

Personal awareness precedes personal transformation

Tips:

Paradigm Shift - A fundamental change in approach or underlying assumptions

The reason we don’t change for long is because we have a set of beliefs that keep us who we are, not who we want to be

Things don’t change…we change


Traditional Method (externals)

What?

What can I do to lose weight?

How?

I’m going to restrict my food, and exercise more

Why?

I want to look better


Transformation Method (internals)

What?

What can I do to get what I want out of life?

How?

Personal awareness of thoughts

-Internals are primary (self-awareness)

- External are secondary (diets, exercise)

Why?

Because I’m important and I want to fully experience all of what life has to give.

“The day you decide you are more interested in being aware of your thoughts than you are in the thoughts themselves - that is the day you will find your way out” - Michael Singer

5 Steps to Euthymia

Eu.thy.mia (yu-thi-me-a) Energetic tranquility


Principle 1: Acknowledge
There is only one person you can change. You can’t change things outside of your control.

“You have power over your mind – not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.”
― Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

Be mindful…Recognize/accept the events in your life that you do and don’t have control over. If you focus on events outside of your control, you are wasting energy and fostering negative emotions. You can’t change events; you can only change your attitude towards them. Through this realization our mind can become impenetrable. So long as we can control our attitudes and reactions, we can very well never be negatively influenced by outside events.

Principle 2: Contentment
Don’t fall prey to modern society’s materialistic nature.

“Wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants.”
― Epictetus

You can't buy happiness. Tranquility is something that comes from within.

“There’s no dollar sign on a piece of mind” -The Zack Brown Band

Principle 3: Appreciation/Gratitude
Picture life without the people and possessions you have to truly appreciate them.

“Do not indulge in dreams of having what you have not, but reckon up the chief of the blessings you do possess, and then thankfully remember how you would crave for them if they were not yours.”     ― Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

We’ve realized now that wanting more leads to dissatisfaction…so how do we find happiness? The key lies in gratitude. We must appreciate all that we have and find joy in it. Ironically, in modern times, we already have everything we need.

Principle 4: Do the right thing
Be genuinely cheerful (passion) in all your interactions. “A man thus grounded must, whether he wills or not, necessarily be attended by constant cheerfulness and a joy that is deep and issues from deep within, since he finds delight in his own resources, and desires no joys greater than his inner joys.”― Seneca

Now, utilizing the stoic principles, our happiness can become independent of other factors; we should be cheerful all the time as stoics because we desire nothing more than human experience. If we desired more, we could allow ourselves to be disappointed. This doesn’t mean that stoics can’t enjoy the finer things in life…it just means we shouldn’t think of them as necessary for our happiness. Only providing goodness to the world through helping people and advancing society…something we each are able to do on a daily basis, can make us truly fulfilled.

Principle 5: Embody
Practicing your values beats preaching them.

“Don’t explain your philosophy. Embody it.”
― Epictetus

Stoicism must be practiced if you want to influence the world in a better way. Ask yourself regularly, “What’s the best way to act in this situation?” You should be looking to make choices based on your personal values to increase the greater good. Live by your moral code.

To Summarize: 

-Don’t get caught up in materialism

-Let your cheerful attitude (passion) elevate your colleagues to bring them up; perform work diligently and for the greater good

-Recognize and acknowledge what’s in and out of your control…don’t let things out of your control affect your joy

-When frustrating things happen, breathe, recognize your emotion and the reason for it, and let it pass. You can’t do anything about it anyway. All that you can control is your reaction, and all you can do is embody goodness and appreciate all you have, which is something I’m sure we’ll all find joy in.

"You are here for my benefit, though rumor paints you otherwise." And everything is turned to one's advantage when he greets a situation like this: You are the very thing I was looking for. Truly whatever arises in life is the right material to bring about your growth and the growth of those around you. This, in a word, is art -- and this art called "life" is a practice suitable to both men and gods. Everything contains some special purpose and a hidden blessing; what then could be strange or arduous when all of life is here to greet you like an old and faithful friend?”                                             -Marcus Aurelius

Amygdala Hijack (Social media)

Have you ever sent an email or posted a Facebook comment that you've dreaded later? If so, there's a high probability that your brain has been hijacked by an ancient structure in the lower mid-brain area that represents our personal "smoke detector". The Amygdala.

Amygdala hijacking is an immediate and disproportionate emotional response to a stimulus that has triggered it. This is because the stimulus is perceived as a threat to one’s emotional stability. This is produced because the amygdala prevents the activation of other areas of the brain, especially the    neocortex. Emotions end up dominating the individual’s behavior. Also, it shuts off the area of the brain that makes us more rational... more human.

“Intense negative emotions absorb all of the individual’s attention, serving as an obstacle to any attempt to attend to other things.”
-Daniel Goleman

The frontal area of the cortex that is inhibited in the hijacking is the one responsible for our logical thinking and the planning out of our actions. Instead, the amygdala forms part of the most primitive parts of the brain. It’s the one that regulates our emotions (flight or flight). Thus, our logical thinking winds up subordinated to the command of our emotions.

“You have to keep in mind that impulses are the vehicle of emotions and the seed of every impulse is an expansive feeling that seeks to express itself through action.”
-Daniel Goleman

Three Fitness Truths

1. Physical looks are 80% nutrition and 20% exercise

2. Training specificity is extremely important in reaching your goals

-Cardio…You don’t increase caloric expenditure by shrinking your muscles

-Weight training (not circuit training)… Increases caloric expenditure, builds bone density, and aids in preventing injuries in other sports.

3. Your body is a reflection of how you think. The reason we don’t change for long is because we have a set of beliefs that keeps us where we are, not where we want to be

Changing your body is really about changing your mind

Awake: Three Behavioral Truths

1) When the student is ready, the teacher will appear

-We cannot change what we refuse to confront

-Nothing changes; we change

-Life is 10% of what happens to you and 90% of how you react to it

-What you do every day matters more than what you do every once in a while

-Learn to love yourself first, instead of loving the idea of other people loving you



2) A motivated person will not be deterred from achieving their goals

-Don’t think of the cost.  Think of the value

-If you really want to do something, you’ll find a way. If you don’t, you’ll find an excuse

-Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come

-You can learn great things from your mistakes when you aren’t busy denying them

-You don’t drown by falling in the water.  You drown by staying there

-Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together


3) Motivation can only be validated by the efforts made by the individual

-In life, if you don’t risk anything, you risk everything

-You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one

-You will never become who you want to be if you keep blaming everyone else for who you are

-If you don’t like something, change it.  If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.

-Growth demands a temporary surrender of security

Nothing changes; we change

Point of Reference

Thoughts emerge
Emotions illicit fear and pain
Critical egoic attachments
Creates distortions and disdain

In seeing who you’re not
A metamorphosis occurs
The truth has always been there
A little voice was never heard

Awareness of the “now”
Enlightenment to past thoughts
We see the point of reference
The manifestation of flawed ought’s

So love the little one
Who suffered years of pain
There was nothing the child could do
Liberation from self-shame

A whole new world emerges
Our childhood now lights the path
No need for affirmation
Self-esteem has come at last


“In the seeing of who you are not,
the recognition of who you are, emerges”
-Eckhart Tolle

Stoic Optimism

-Stoicism is a practice.

-Stoicism is the foundation for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

-Stoicism’s undeserved reputation for being synonymous with emotionless, it can actually lead to an incredibly satisfying way of life.

-Stoicism is a very old philosophy that can be practiced by anyone to increase their happiness; many ideas you may already practice in your daily interactions.

-Stoicism is, at its root, a philosophy for minimizing the negative emotions in your life and maximizing your gratitude and joy; it includes mindfulness practices and value-based living.

-Stoicism is a tool to amplify your human experience, both internally and externally, by incorporating some of their thought processes into our daily lives, I believe we’ll find more joy in our daily duties and respond more resiliently to troubles and challenges that arise.

Marcus Aurelius always reminded himself that the obstacle is the way:

“Our actions may be impeded…but there can be no impeding our intention or dispositions. Because we can accommodate and adapt. The mind adapts and converts to its own purpose the obstacle to our acting”
“The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way, becomes the way”

When we look at the world through this lens…every obstacle provides a chance to practice excellence.


Principle 1: You can’t change things outside of your control, but you can change your attitude.

“You have power over your mind – not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.”
― Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

Thomas Edison

At the age of 67, Edison was having dinner with his family. A loud knocking is at his door. He is informed that there is a fire at his factory. He rushes there to find it completely engulfed in flames. The flames are roaring high emitting blues, reds and greens from the chemicals used in his facility.
He looks over to find his son distraught. He taps on his sons shoulder and reply’s, “quick, get your mother and all of her friends, they’ll never see a fire like this again”

Principle 2: Don’t fall prey to modern society’s materialistic nature.

“Wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants.”
― Epictetus

Principle 3: Picture life without the people and possessions you have to truly appreciate them.

“Do not indulge in dreams of having what you have not, but reckon up the chief of the blessings you do possess, and then thankfully remember how you would crave for them if they were not yours.” ― Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

Principle 4: Be genuinely cheerful in all your interactions.
“A man thus grounded must, whether he wills or not, necessarily be attended by constant cheerfulness and a joy that is deep and issues from deep within, since he finds delight in his own resources, and desires no joys greater than his inner joys.”― Seneca

Principle 5: Practicing your values beats preaching them.

“Don’t explain your philosophy. Embody it.”― Epictetus

To summarize Stoicism, don’t get caught up in materialism, have cheerful interactions with your colleagues to bring them up, perform work diligently and for the greater good, and recognize what’s in and out of your control…don’t let things out of your control affect your joy.

When frustrating things happen, breathe, recognize your emotion and the reason for it, and let it pass. You can’t do anything about it anyway. All that you can control is your reaction, and all you can do is embody goodness and appreciate all you have, which is something I’m sure we’ll all find joy in.

The Costanza Dilemma

 
                 “I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better.”
                                                                                          -Maya Angelou

Have you ever thought you should have done the exact opposite regarding decisions you’ve made in life?
You try so hard to succeed, yet nothing ever seems to go your way.

Well, one thing is for sure; if you continue to do as you’ve always done, you’ll continue to get the same result.

An example I use in helping people change unhealthy behaviors is the Seinfeld episode feature George Costanza. George comes in to the café where Jerry and Elaine are seated. He proceeds to tell them that everything he has ever done in his life has been wrong.

Jerry replies. “If everything you do is wrong….then the opposite would be right.”

George agrees. He then walks right up to a pretty lady and does the opposite of what he would typically do;

“Hi, my name is George…I’m unemployed and I live with my parents”

To which the lady excitedly responds, “Hello George”

Doing the opposite may seem counterintuitive, however, if the methods we choose in diets, relationships, or various other situations have failed, we may want to consider what the opposite might look like.
Many times emotional decisions are made in emotional moments. This may seem like an oxymoronic statement, but think about it…emotional moments require logic and reason to move forward in a productive manner. If not, like George, we will continue the same method and receive the same outcome.

So the next time we’re in an emotional situation; stop… Contrary to our feelings, let the urge for an immediate response subside so that logic and reason can guide us is in a more productive manner.

And as Jerry said, “If everything you do is wrong….then the opposite would be right.”
           
 “We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them”
                                                                                            -Albert Einstein