I'm Trying to Eat Better

Have you ever noticed how many people are offended by people who are fit, or people who are making an effort to change their lives? 

Take this for instance…My family and I went out to eat at a Mexican food restaurant one evening. I couldn’t eat because I was training for a bodybuilding competition. If you have ever seen anyone in contest shape, it is very obvious because of how lean they appear.   

As we walked toward the restaurant, a very overweight couple… eating ice cream… walked out of the door. When they noticed the veins in my arms they both looked at each other in disgust. (Note…I had on a regular polo type shirt…not a tank top)

So…what’s up with that?

How about the times I have taken my food on trips, only to be made fun of by others who are not so health conscious?   

These are just a few of the experiences I’ve encountered during my 25 years of being a personal trainer.

This is not only a problem for me, but it is a problem that many of my clients face when they try to change their lifestyle.

Let’s face it…a large part of the lifestyle we live is because of our environment. (Environment meaning friends and family)

Whenever we start to change our lifestyle, our “environment” becomes uncomfortable.

A friend or family member will ask… “You want to get some pizza?”…you respond, “No thank you…I’m tying to watch what I eat”…

Wow!!! You just created a cognitive conflict.

For many it will put them in a very defensive position. Most of the comments you will hear are:

~Oh…what’s wrong with you?

~ Or the sympathetic…oh…is there something wrong?

~ What?…do you think you are better than us?

~ Do you have an eating disorder?

~ Watch out guys…here comes Kelly (followed by several uncomfortable laughs)

Why is it that our friends, family or people in general feel the need to say unkind things and criticize peoples efforts to become better?

Social psychologists have extensively studied this type of behavior. These negative comments are indicative of a pattern… one desires something… finds it unattainable… and reduces one's dissonance (state of mental conflict) by criticizing it.

The, “I’m trying to watch what I eat” comment puts people in a state of Cognitive dissonance. (CD) CD is an uncomfortable feeling caused by holding conflicting ideas simultaneously.

People may feel surprise, dread, guilt, anger, or embarrassment. People are biased to think of their comments as correct, despite any pain that might be experienced by their healthy counterparts. This bias gives the dissonance theory its predictive power, shedding light on otherwise puzzling irrational and destructive behavior in their comments.

Your comment…”I’m trying to watch what I eat” is perceived by our friends as a personal attack. When you decide to change your life by eating better and working out, you are reminding them that they should start taking responsibility and creating a healthier lifestyle. You are basically shining a light on something they know they need to change.

For any body out there who is considering making a change, realize your efforts may be met with resistance from those closest to you… But don’t let THEIR discomfort discourage you from making your life healthier.

Your number one priority is you and your family.