Behavioral Change

                                             

                                “It’s not what you’re eating… it’s what’s eating you”

 

For many of us, eating issues become problematic between the ages of 10 and 20. This is a time of great change….emotionally, physically, and socially.
Turning to food becomes a convenient coping mechanism because of the availability and social acceptance of this substance.  What makes it even harder is that we have to eat food to live (we can’t avoid it).

The problem seems obvious…but is it?

Even though it would appear that food is to blame for our eating problems, it’s not.  Severe food restriction, overeating, binging, purging, over exercising, or a preoccupation with body weight are not the causes of our weight issues. 

These are merely the symptoms OF a problem.

These behavioral patterns associated with food are what we’ve imprinted to cope with life’s difficulties and memories that are too hard to face.

So where do we start?

Behavioral change is about changing negative patterns of behavior by changing your relationship with yourself.

Personal awareness brings forth personal transformation.

You must understand the personal manifestations of emotions to understand the coping mechanisms we have attached to the emotions. Our attachments to food (not the food itself) are the underlying cause of our pain and suffering when it comes to our weight.

The good news is that food has no power other than the power we give it.  

Know thyself

Personal awareness is an awakening. It’s a true realization/recognition of who we are and why we do what we do.

Please join me in the greatest journey one could ever partake. The truth is, the journey of self is the path to ultimate freedom….it’s a neurological liberation.

Know yourself and live the life you’ve always wanted…become who you were meant to be…find your unique purpose…fulfill your destiny.

 

Kelly Hitchcock

903-360-8803 cell

Personal email: khfitness@aol.com

Web site: khtyler.com

 

 

 

 

 

Hardwiring Logic

“The world we have made is a result of the level of thinking we have done thus far creates problems we cannot solve at the same level of thinking at which we created them”.

                                                                                                                                 ~ Einstein

It’s simple psychology…What we believe leads us to feel the way we feel emotionally and to behave the way we do physically. We are our thoughts…our thoughts are us.  If the structure of thought remains unchanged, we will always end up re-creating the same universe, the same struggles, and the same life.

Since this is the case, there is a certain pattern of reasoning that must be followed in order to overcome behaviors that are not in our best interest.  

 

Accountability/Awareness/Reason

-              Responsible (you’re not a victim)

-              Internal dialogue (Positive or negative?)

-              Rational / Irrational (reason or emotion?)

 

Beliefs/Thoughts/Actions

Beliefs Þ Actions Þ Consequences (Behavior…positive or negative)

These steps create habits.  Habits form as a consequence of reinforcement (positive and negative).

 “At first you create your habits, and then your habits create you.”

 

Why is rational thinking so important?

Because what you think and believe about a situation leads you to feel emotionally and to behave the way you do physically.

 “Men are disturbed not by events, but by their opinions about events”

                                                                                                               ~ Epictetus

For example, if you think and believe you can’t have certain foods, you will most likely make yourself anxious about food.  In the presence of food you will feel very uncomfortable and create a sense of panic for yourself.

This panic is called “Anticipatory Anxiety” where one’s fear of a certain event is precisely what brings about that event, e.g. overeating, poor test-taking or performance, insomnia, stuttering, etc.

 

Anticipatory anxiety consists of two flawed thought processes:

-              Hyper-reflections: excessive thinking about the situation

-              Hyper-intention: trying too hard to avoid the situation

The common treatment for this issue involves changing one’s meaningful attachment to the situation by actually inviting it (attacking it!).  This will usually create a shift in attitude which undercuts the anticipatory anxiety.

 "Grasping at things can only yield one of two results: Either the thing you are grasping at disappears, or you yourself disappear.  It is only a matter of which occurs first."

                                                                                           ~ Goenka

 For most of us, thinking rationally does not happen automatically.  You must practice applying the rational thinking to each of your thoughts.  A simple beginning exercise would be for you to record a few examples of thoughts that you would like to change.  Take this list and out to the side write rational or irrational.  This simple exercise will hardwire a new pattern of thinking and problem solving that will lead to a life of less pain.

Remember, what you think and believe leads you to feel the way you feel emotionally and to behave the way you do physically.  Rational thoughts are always based on facts.  Through this practice you might begin to notice a pattern to your thinking which creates your perception.  These patterns are what create our belief system.

 Ask yourself these questions:

-              Are my thoughts based on facts?

-              Are my thoughts healthy for me and my family?

-              Will my thoughts help me achieve my short-term and long-term goals?

-              Will my thoughts help me feel the way I want to feel emotionally?

 

“If I change my mind, will I change my choices?  If I change my choices will my life change?  Why can’t I change what I’m addicted to?  When I change my addiction, what will I lose that I am chemically attached to?  Maybe I don’t want to lose what I’m chemically attached to because I may have to experience the withdrawal from that.  Hence the human drama.”

                                                                                                      ~ What the bleep do we know?

 

The Four Pillars for Atheletic Success

                                                 “Nothing will work unless you do”

                                                                                ~ John Wooten

1. Genetics

2. Training

3. Nutrition

4. Mind

 Genetics:

We can’t pick our parents, so we all come biologically designed with potential. Our potential is limited by three things.

~ Will (mental fortitude)      

~ Fast twitch fibers (muscle fiber type for speed and strength)    

~ Slow twitch fibers (muscle fiber type for endurance) 

Darrell Royal, a famous Texas Longhorn coach once said, “Potential means you just ain’t done it yet”

So…how can we maximize our potential?

Training:

We may not be able to pick our parents, but we can choose our training.

The two key components to any successful exercise program are specificity and overload. 

If you’re a basketball player…specificity is dribbling the ball…its shooting the shots.

Overload is the relentless repetitions of basketball mechanics. These patterns of movement become so hard wired that they become instinctual.  The athlete that can react, rather than think, will be the first to the rim.

 Nutrition:

Doctor David Costill, a world renowned exercise physiologist once said, “apart from genetics and training, the most over looked component in maximizing an athlete’s performance is nutrition.

Athletes are like dragsters. And what do dragsters run on? Jet fuel!

The jet fuel for an athlete is…             

 ~ Complex carbohydrates

~ Lean proteins       

~ Healthy fats      

 Mind:

Henry Ford once said, whether you think you can, or whether you think you can’t, you’re right”

The greatest thing we can ever do is not what we can do to our bodies, but what we can do to our mind.

 I have had the privilege to work with many physically gifted athletes…they could jump higher than anyone on the court…they could run faster than any one on the field…they could lift more than anyone in the gym.

But the one thing some of these athletes lacked was drive. Some people call this drive heart…I like to call it will. 

Whatever we want to call IT…that IT preside here…right here in our brain.

Some are born with IT…some develop IT.

In closing I want you to think of the four pillars like you would think of four legs on a table. If one is weak the table will fall. Take these four suggestions and write them down…I’m sure some of you will see where you have work to do. I will guarantee you, the individual that takes the time to work on his or her weaknesses, will be the one who succeeds.

 These are the ones whose signatures will one day become an autograph.

 

  

Self Esteem

                                            “The only respect that matters is self-respect”            

 

Self Esteem 1. A realistic respect for or favorable impression of oneself; self-respect.

Self-esteem is how you feel about yourself as a person.

There is an overwhelming amount of evidence that the higher the level of self-esteem, the more likely one will be to treat others with respect, kindness, and generosity. Those with high self-esteem believe that they are adequate, strong and worthy of a good life, while those with low self-esteem feel inadequate and worthless. Low self-esteem can develop in childhood and continue throughout adulthood, causing a great amount of emotional pain that can dominate/cripple most lives.  Therefore, it’s important to develop a healthy, positive sense of self.  

Many people base their self-esteem on external, materialist factors, such as how much money they earn, what kind of car they drive, how much they weigh, how they dress,  and whether people like and appreciate them. If any of those external variables changes, your self-esteem can be greatly affected. For example, if your self-esteem is based on your group of friends… then you risk feeling extremely vulnerable and worthless if those friends leave you. By the same token, building self-esteem is not an easy task if you have been abused or have suffered years of personal or professional failure.

Building your self-esteem and creating a positive self-awareness comes from taking an introspective look at your own strengths and abilities as a human being. Being at peace with who you are and what you have to offer the world is a major part of having high self-esteem. This “inner peace” does not mean that you are unaware of your weaknesses…it’s quite the contrary; it merely means that you accept who you are and genuinely like the person you have become.

                 “Nothing builds self-esteem and self-confidence like accomplishment”

You should think about yourself as deserving of attention, admiration and proper maintenance. Avoid the pitfall of paying too much attention to the happiness and well-being of others and too little to your own. Maintaining self-esteem involves becoming fully aware of your strengths and seeing challenges as opportunities to employ those strengths.
Low self-esteem is often linked to depression or anxiety. If your emotions feel overpowering or out of control, one way to build self-esteem around this issue is to learn to manage your mood and gain control over your internal dialogue. Some people are able to do this with the help of friends and family. Others need to work with a health professional to manage the problems that may lie beneath the surface of low self-esteem.

If you struggle with low self-esteem, it is often helpful to connect with others with the same problem.  Self-help groups and life coaches can be helpful in building the skills necessary to believe in your own wishes, needs and feelings. Other self-help groups may be located by talking with a mental health referral service or by asking a therapist Doctor, or other health professional for a referral. In addition, you can contact your local mental health center about individual and group therapy. Clergy and pastoral counsel may also be of assistance. Other steps you can take to increase self-esteem include looking at community bulletin boards and newspapers for opportunities to demonstrate your skills and abilities, working with others to change the things you don’t like about yourself and meditating twice a day to increase your awareness of the current moment and of the great opportunity that comes with being alive.

Listening to the internal dialogue about who you think you are and what you have to offer the world is an important process in building self-esteem. However, it is not unusual to have trouble suppressing the hardwired negative voice while defining your strengths and abilities. Sometimes it is helpful to talk to a behavioral specialist about this inner dialogue and about how you might come to the genuine feeling of being a good person who is worthy of the good things in life.
Talking to friends, family and colleagues can also be useful in further defining who you are and what you have to offer. Remember though that the most important conversation you have about self-esteem is with yourself. Become your own personal coach. Don’t be afraid to celebrate even your smallest successes. Ask yourself what you fear, and search within yourself for ways you can cope with these worries and fears.

Learning to know and trust yourself is a long but worthwhile process. Throughout life you may need to search within yourself again and again to find your own empowerment and strength.

 

                                “All that we are is a result of what we have thought”

                                                                                    Buddha

 

                 

Rider on an Elephant Metaphor

 By Chip and Dan Heath…”Switch: How to Change When Change is Hard”

 “The mind is divided, like a rider on an elephant, and the rider’s job is to serve the elephant”

"Perched atop the Elephant, the Rider holds the reins and seems to be the leader.  But the Rider’s control is precarious because the Rider is so small relative to the Elephant.  Anytime the six-ton Elephant and the Rider disagree about which direction to go, the Rider is going to lose.  He’s completely overmatched."  You need to create a path that makes it easier to be successful.

Most of us are all too familiar with situations in which our Elephant overpowers our Rider.  You’ve experienced this if you’ve ever slept in, overeaten, dialed up your ex at midnight, procrastinated, tried to quit smoking and failed, skipped the gym, gotten angry and said something you regretted, abandoned your Spanish or piano lessons, refused to speak up in a meeting because you were scared, and so on.

The key to effective change is getting the Elephant and the Rider moving together.  Dan and Chip write:

“Changes often fail because the Rider simply can’t keep the Elephant on the road long enough to reach the destination.  The Elephant’s hunger for instant gratification is the opposite of the Rider’s strength, which is the ability to think long-term, to plan, to think beyond the moment (all those things that your pet can’t do.) … To make progress toward a goal, whether it’s noble or crass requires the energy and drive of the Elephant.  And this strength is the mirror image of the Rider’s great weakness: spinning his wheels.  The Rider tends to overanalyze and over think things. … A reluctant Elephant and a wheel-spinning Rider can both ensure nothing changes.  But when Elephants and Riders move together, change can come easily.”

 

“Some pleasures are not worth having because they lead to greater pains, and some pains are worthwhile when they lead to greater pleasures. The best strategy for attaining a maximal amount of pleasure overall is not to seek instant gratification but to work out a sensible long term policy”

~ Epicurus

 

 

 

Crabs

“It was teeming with a diversity of life, with mussels, tubeworms, fish and crabs. Struggles for survival were playing out before our eyes. The incredible multitude of crabs in combat with each other for existence is an image I will never forget”                              ~ Steve Price

 

Have you heard of The Bucket of Crabs Theory?

The theory states that if there are several crabs in a bucket, and one tries to climb out, the others will pull him back down.

The “crab mentality” is summed up as:

“If I can’t have it, neither can you.”

If the crabs worked together, they could escape. But instead their selfishness and distrust maintains the status quo.

I’m using the Crab theory as a metaphor to describe human behavior.

Let’s say the bucket is you wanting to stop drinking, change your diet, or venture out into a new job.

Do your friends and family encourage those decisions?

Or do they try and pull you back down into the bucket with them?

What’s your reaction when one of your friends or family members takes a risk and is genuinely happy and successful?

I know it isn’t the ideal answer, but for most people its resentment, jealousy and extreme cognitive dissonance.

We can be better than the crabs.

Smarter
More cooperative
More encouraging
More compassionate

If you want to climb out of your “bucket,” whatever it may be, don’t let the other crabs pull you down.

And if you’re happy in your bucket but see someone else making a break for it, go ahead and give them a boost!

You never know… maybe they’ll turn around and offer a hand up.

“I don't know what your destiny will be, but one thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to serve.”

                                                                                                   ~ Albert Schweitzer

Phillip's Question

 Phillip:

I was going to message this question, but I thought it would be beneficial for others to know the answer.
You promote a macronutrient distribution of 60/30/10 and I and many others have seen great results from it. Yet, I often see others (who also get excellent results) promoting a 50/25/25 split (or a 50/30/20). What are the major advantages/disadvantages to the different levels and what makes one superior to the other?

Great question Phillip!

Let me start by saying that this ratio (60/30/10) is for competitors who are trying to reach extremely low levels of body fat.

60/30/10….60% carbs, 30% protein, 10% fat.

Example….Women weighing 130 lbs. with a bf of 10% (Im not going to give all my secrets J )

LBM 117

Fat 13

RMR 1170

Recommended calories 1970

295 Carbs

147 Proteins

21.8 Fat

Carb:  The carb amount is like gas in your car tank. The tank represents the LBM (muscle)…we want enough gas to fill the tank, but not too much to spill out onto the ground (into the fat stores). By fueling properly with carbs allows the proteins to be left alone to do its job (repair damage tissue).

If the carb levels are too low (the example you mentioned of 50%) then protein (muscle) gets diverted and becomes a fuel source.

Protein:  30 % protein gives you approximately 1.3 grams of protein per lb of body weight…this is sufficient for any hard training athlete. DO NOT think taking more protein will be better. Your body can only assimilate so much protein…the rest is excreted from the body or stored as fat.

Fat: If you want to burn stored body fat, lower your intake. If you have less coming in, your body will turned to what is stored.  If you don’t believe me and think avocados and nuts are healthy…tell me…how’s that working for you?

Macronutrient profiles are very dependent on goals. One profile isn’t right for everyone. If you have a specific goal, get a specific plan.

 

“You did what you knew how to do, but when you knew better, you did better”

                                                                                                     ~ Mya Angelo  

 

 

 

 

Overcoming Me

                 "A man is but the product of his thoughts; what he thinks, he becomes."

             Mahatma Ghandi

 

I thought I had a good childhood… until I became aware of my childhood.
No curfew, no rules, no supervision, and no guidance….all the things a young man needs to develop into a moral, responsible mature adult.  I was exposed  to things children shouldn’t be allowed to see or do…..reading Playboy at age 10, drinking in elementary school , driving with no license at age 12, and premarital sex at a very early age…wow…it couldn’t get much better than that!  (Or so I thought)

My friends had rules…they had responsibilities…they even had homework.

(Man I felt sorry for them)

How could I have known the little boy that was being programed, was going to be a very hard adult to overcome?

 “Things don’t change…we do”

We can’t really fully understand our predicament as adults until we understand our origins, and how we’ve developed from the beginning to where we are at a particular time in our development whatever age we are.

All major studies regarding human development agree that the most formative years of a person’s life are from 1-8 years old.  These early years provide a platform for all of our thoughts, beliefs, and personalities that form along our way to becoming an adult.  

Professor Malcolm W. Watson once proposed… “Within every adult still lives that small child.”

I found this to be especially true in my early twenties.    My internal dialogue (which is who we really are at the moment) was running on the programming of my youth.  It was sexualized and violent…it was aggressive and impulsive.

Overcoming me was definitely a challenge

“Men are disturbed not by events, but by their opinions about events” ~ Epictetus

Overcoming me was a matter of overcoming my environment. It was a realization that my emotions followed my programing that I received as a child. If we change our programing, we also change our emotions…if we change our emotions… we change.

Awareness

"You are searching for the magic key that will unlock the door to the source of power; and yet you have the key in your own hands, and you may use it the moment you learn to control your thoughts."                                                                                             ~ Napoleon Hill

Awareness via introspection and education is the key to changing the programing (internal dialogue).

Internal dialogue is that voice inside your head which commentates on everything around you.  It is the voice that directs your emotions, logic, and reason. 

For example your internal dialogue allows you to…

~ Make decisions about how something makes you feel

~ Form an opinion on something or someone

~ Decide if you believe something or not

~ Know whether to do a certain thing or not

~ Know if you should change what you are doing (consider consequences)

It is non-stop and continually shapes your world and how you see it.  Depending on what your internal dialogue says at key points in your life will determine not only how you feel about certain things, but also what you believe about yourself and things around you… this will determine where best to spend your energy.  Oh and one thing I should mention, your internal dialogue runs automatically if you let it, however, if you pay attention to it, you can choose what you say to yourself… which is paramount for growth.

“Whether you think you can or whether you think you can’t, you’re right” ~ Henry Ford

Personally, I’ve used introspection and education to overcome the aggressions of my youth.  At that time, I felt extremely out of control and didn’t have the maturity to understand why my emotions were so violent or what to do about it.  Introspection gave me a way to recognize how my emotions arose, and education gave me the knowledge to control those emotions.

It’s important to understand that overcoming oneself doesn’t involve suppressing your emotions or denying them by sweeping them under the rug.  In fact, overcoming oneself demands exploring the beliefs and opinions that give rise to negative emotions… seeing if those beliefs are irrational… and if they are…. challenging them and replacing them with new beliefs.

So introspection involves a dismantling of beliefs and habits that create emotions, rather than simply denying or avoiding the emotions.

Overcoming the programing of our youth is never finished…it’s an ongoing process.

I began to notice if I constantly thought negative things, then my behavior reflected this. You may have a sour look on your face or talk negative to people and over time this will become an unpleasant habit and people may not want to be around you as a result. 

On the other hand, if you become aware of thoughts that are making you feel negative, decide to learn from them and change your thoughts… look at the positive side of things that will make you feel positive and empowered and your behavior will start to reflect that.  

Over time you will reprogram positive thinking into a habit. Your face and demeanor will reflect this positive attitude and you become more approachable, more open and more compassionate - all attributes that draw people toward you instead of away from you. The way you perceive yourself and the way others perceive you ultimately changes who you are.

The simple (hard) fact is that whatever you hold in your mind will tend to occur in your life. As they say, “If you continue to believe as you have always believed, you will continue to act as you have always acted”.   So we have to remember that if you continue to act as you have always acted, you will continue to get what you have always gotten. If you want different results in your life or your work, all you have to do is change your mind.

 "You have powers you never dreamed of. You can do things you never thought you could do. There are no limitations in what you can do except the limitations of your own mind."                                                                                                                                    

                                                                                               ~ Darwin P. Kingsley

 

           

 

 

I

                                          

                                   “When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be”

                                                                                                     - Lao Tzu

“I think, therefore I am” Or ”I am, therefore I think?”

It’s interesting to think about.

I’ve often wondered about the ramifications of what it means to be a conscious creature.

To be human, is to be conscious of a self.

Once self-awareness occurs, he contemplates. 

Once he contemplates, he senses anxiety from our insatiable appetites and our disconcerting impermanence.

Once he senses anxiety, he distorts the reality.

Distorting the reality exposes the yearning and credulity of our species.

Exposing the credulity and yearning of our species brings awareness to the illusion of self.

The illusion of self is the confined space that we inhabit.

The space we inhabit is the consciousness of thought.

The consciousness of thought is the origins of cognition.

The origin of cognition is the beginnings of humanity.

The beginning of humanity is what it means to be conscious of self.

And that’s the ramifications of being a conscious creature.

It’s interesting to think about.

"I think, therefore I am”

“The day you decide you are more interested in being aware of your thoughts than you are in the thoughts themselves - that is the day you will find your way out”   

                                                                                                         ~ Michael Singer