Self-Esteem

Internal or external?

The man who desires attention, accolades, or wealth, then becomes enslaved by attention, accolades, or wealth.

The man who derives satisfaction from doing the right thing, becomes liberated by doing the right thing.

Never let your self-esteem be dependent on what others think.

“Men are disturbed not by things, but by the view which they take of them”

                                                                                        ~ Epictetus

Perhaps (Buddhist parable)

Long ago in China there was an old farmer. With the same horse this old farmer had plowed and worked his land for many years when one day his horse suddenly ran away. As news of this reached his neighbors, the old farmer was met with sympathy. Neighbors visited throughout the day saying, "Wow, what bad luck to have your horse run away!"

The old farmer would think for a moment then say softly, "Perhaps..."

The next morning the old farmer awoke to find his horse had returned. With the horse were several wild horses who had apparently followed the horse home. Neighbors rejoiced, visiting the old farmer to express how happy they were for his sudden good fortune.
The old farmer would think for a moment then say softly, "Perhaps..."

Shortly after, the old farmer's son decided to try to ride one of the wild horses. Climbing on the horses back, the boy knocked the animal hard with his leg shouting for the horse to go. Startled, and probably a little annoyed, the horse flung the boy off its back. The old farmer's son broke his leg in the fall. Again, neighbors came to offer their sympathies for the misfortune, "What a horrible string of bad luck you're having!"

The old farmer would think for a moment then say softly, "Perhaps..."

The very next day, military officials came into the village with orders to draft young men into military service. As they went from home to home, rounding up young men, they made their way to the old farmer's house. Upon seeing the farmer's son with his broken leg they decided to move on, leaving the boy alone. Once again, neighbors came to share words of congratulations to the old farmer for the good fortune to have his son passed by.

And again, the old farmer would think for a moment then say softly, "Perhaps..."

 When the soul cries out, it is a sign that we have arrived at a necessary, mature stage of self-reflection. The secret is not to get stuck there dithering or wringing your hands, but to move forward by resolving to heal yourself. Philosophy asks us to move into courage. Its remedy is the unblinking excavation of the faulty and specious premises on which we base our lives and our personal identity.

                                                                                                                             ~ Epictetus

Awake: Three Behavioral Truths

1) When the student is ready, the teacher will appear

-We cannot change what we refuse to confront

-Nothing changes; we change

-Life is 10% of what happens to you and 90% of how you react to it

-What you do every day matters more than what you do every once in a while

-Learn to love yourself first, instead of loving the idea of other people loving you



2) A motivated person will not be deterred from achieving their goals

-Don’t think of the cost.  Think of the value

-If you really want to do something, you’ll find a way. If you don’t, you’ll find an excuse

-Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come

-You can learn great things from your mistakes when you aren’t busy denying them

-You don’t drown by falling in the water.  You drown by staying there

-Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together


3) Motivation can only be validated by the efforts made by the individual

-In life, if you don’t risk anything, you risk everything

-You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one

-You will never become who you want to be if you keep blaming everyone else for who you are

-If you don’t like something, change it.  If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.

-Growth demands a temporary surrender of security

Nothing changes; we change

Point of Reference

Thoughts emerge
Emotions illicit fear and pain
Critical egoic attachments
Creates distortions and disdain

In seeing who you’re not
A metamorphosis occurs
The truth has always been there
A little voice was never heard

Awareness of the “now”
Enlightenment to past thoughts
We see the point of reference
The manifestation of flawed ought’s

So love the little one
Who suffered years of pain
There was nothing the child could do
Liberation from self-shame

A whole new world emerges
Our childhood now lights the path
No need for affirmation
Self-esteem has come at last


“In the seeing of who you are not,
the recognition of who you are, emerges”
-Eckhart Tolle