The Ride!

“The truth is you don't know what is going to happen tomorrow. Life is a crazy ride, and nothing is guaranteed” - Eminem


"The next rider up… on the bull Bodacious; Tuff Hedeman!"

The extreme sport of Bull Riding is perhaps the most ferocious ride a man can experience. You’re up, down, spinning one way, spinning the other way, in the air, and finally, on the ground. And remember, this is all done on a 2,000 pound beast.

What a thrill!

Some of these rides will be exciting, and some, not so much; but rest assured, there will always be a ride.

Bull riders are a fearless group of fellows.

The one thing you may not know about them is they do their homework. This allows the bull rider to adjust his strengths and weakness to the bull’s tendencies. The more you can know about yourself, and the bull, increases your chances for success.

Example: (Cowboys talking)

“He’s a crow hopper!” This is a bull that doesn’t buck; he just jumps stiff legged into the air.

“You drew you a jump kicker!” This kind of bull jumps and kicks while in mid-air.

“Watch out…he’ll suck back on you” This bull will spin one way, then instantly spin back the other.

“He’s rank!” This bull should be named Oxymoron…you want him…but you don’t.  He’s the kind of bull that makes you pay a huge price for the ride; however, if you stay on, he pays a huge dividend.

Knowing your bull is one thing: however, your strategy is another.

The beast is strong, quick, and tenacious. You can’t out muscle it (most bull riders weigh about 150 pounds); you’re not near as fast; you might be as tenacious, but that doesn’t help much with a 2 ton beast.

The one advantage humans have in this situation is smarts…intelligence. We’re able to consider all of the above listed traits of the bull, and compare that with all of our strengths and weaknesses. Equipped with this information, we can use logic and reason to come up with a strategy to increase our chances for success.

We don’t always win: however, we can minimize the damage. It’s ironic; everything in life that’s meaningful comes with a certain degree of uncertainty and danger.

Think about the ride of life.

Life is up and down. Sometimes you’re spinning one way and then in an instant, spinning the other way. Sometimes you feel like you’re high in the air… and the next, crashing to the ground. And remember, this ride in life is occurring over a 70-80 year lifespan.

What a wonderful ride we have if our perspective is clear and focused.

What a hard ride if not.

We can all learn from the bull riders. The advantage… we have our intellect.

If we stay calm and use our intellect, we can develop better strategies for dealing with the wild ride of life.

Life’s Tendencies:

“The ride of life can be a crow hopper!” Life just throws you in the air.

“Life can be a jump kicker!” This kind of life throws you up and then kicks the sh—out of you.

“Life can suck back on you” This really sucks. Things are going great, and then, sucked right back where you first began.

“Life can/will be rank” This is life’s Oxymoron…it’s not that you want it; however, its times like these where true growth occurs.

Choose life; live life; and enjoy the ride!

As Thomas Paine once said,

“The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly; it is dearness only that gives everything its value. I love the man that can smile in trouble, which can gather strength from distress and grow.”

I want to conclude with a song called “The Dance”, written by Tony Arata, and performed by Garth Brooks.

This song/video featured people who died too early in their life due to tragedies before they really had a chance to fulfill their potential. Bull rider Lane Frost was one of these exceptional people featured in the video.

The song is basically is about how their chosen paths in life led to their tragic ends, and that while they may have lived longer, they would have missed out on all they experienced if they had chosen a different path, or ride in life.

So regardless of what we choose to call life; Ride or Dance. The point is to learn as much as you can about life, and yourself, and then don’t hold back.

The Dance

Looking back on the memory of
The dance we shared 'neath the stars above
For a moment all the world was right
How could I have known that you'd ever say goodbye

And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I'd have had to miss the dance

Holding you I held everything
For a moment wasn't I a king
But if I'd only known how the king would fall
Hey who's to say you know I might have changed it all

And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I'd have had to miss the dance

Yes my life is better left to chance
I could have missed the pain but I'd have had to miss the dance

Why don’t we Change… for Long?

“A man lost in the desert can trudge along for hours through the sands until he sees ahead of him an unmistakable line of foot prints leading to the horizon. But his joy on finding the trail turns to despair when he realizes the tracks are his own. Without a path or a landmark to guide him, he traced a vast circle while convinced he was walking in a straight line”  -Stephen Batchelor

“Why don’t we change for long” is a complex question.

It could be knowledge; our thoughts are flawed or we’ve been misinformed.

It could be time or effort; we’re too busy with other things and don’t want to commit.

It could be money; we’re not aware of the financial commitment.

Or…perhaps it’s just You?

I’m not really talking about “you” as in the conscious you. I’m not talking about the voice of awareness that says, “I’m going on this _________diet”

I am talking about “you” from the perspective of the unconscious you. This is the movement that occurs prior to the voice of awareness.

In the relatively new study of neuroscience, most scientists agree that 80% to 90% of what we do every day feels like a decision, a choice, but it’s actually subconscious movement.

Now don’t get me wrong, we did make a choice at some point that hardwired the subconscious movement; however, the choice becomes less discerned over time; automatic if you will.

(Remember when you had to have complete focus to learn how to ride your bike? Now you ride the bike with no conscious thought. The brain seeks efficiency)

At the neurological level the brain, there is a 3 step process for thoughts to occur. When these thoughts occur, we act. When these acts are repeated, they become a subconscious habit.

-Perception (our view based on past experience)

-Emotion (positive or negative)

-Behavior (action)

These three things make up who you are, and may answer why you do what you do.

And this is why we don’t change for long.

The reason we don’t change for long is because we have a system of thinking (perception-emotion-behavior) that keeps us who we are, not who we want to be.

How does change occur?

First examine the thoughts that create our perception. (Clarify and evaluate)
Our perception is based on our input. If our input is flawed, our emotions will be irrational.
If our emotions are irrational, our behavior that follows will be counterproductive for change to occur. In other words, you will end up right where you first began.

“Like someone lost in a desert, we feel compelled to struggle ahead, unaware that a circle will only bring us back to where we first began”. –Stephen Batchelor

Let’s say you’re attempting a new diet. If you have tried a diet before, and it didn’t work; the likelihood of the next one working is minimal.

Why?

Because there’s a flaw in the 3 step process: your perceptions, the emotions elicited, and the behavior that follows. We end up focusing on the failed diet…not the failed neurology of our thought process.
This is the missing link in the proverbially chain of success. The diet may be different, but you bring a flawed system of thinking (You) to attempt change.

Einstein once said,

“The world we have made as a result of the level of thinking we have done thus far creates problems we cannot solve at the same level of thinking at which we created them."

In other words…nothing changes unless our thoughts change.  So the next time you’re attempting change, don’t necessarily look for “external solutions.”

This time look for “internal clarifications.”

When you address the flawed manifestations of our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, lifelong change is one choice away.

Change your mind and everything changes…and everything changes when you change your mind.


“We are masters of self-delusion. Our desires are fruitful sources of every kind of error and misjudgment, and because we have these yearnings in us, our intellects…present to us everything distorted and accommodated to the norms of our desire.” –Merton

Stoic Optimism

-Stoicism is a practice.

-Stoicism is the foundation for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

-Stoicism’s undeserved reputation for being synonymous with emotionless, it can actually lead to an incredibly satisfying way of life.

-Stoicism is a very old philosophy that can be practiced by anyone to increase their happiness; many ideas you may already practice in your daily interactions.

-Stoicism is, at its root, a philosophy for minimizing the negative emotions in your life and maximizing your gratitude and joy; it includes mindfulness practices and value-based living.

-Stoicism is a tool to amplify your human experience, both internally and externally, by incorporating some of their thought processes into our daily lives, I believe we’ll find more joy in our daily duties and respond more resiliently to troubles and challenges that arise.

Marcus Aurelius always reminded himself that the obstacle is the way:

“Our actions may be impeded…but there can be no impeding our intention or dispositions. Because we can accommodate and adapt. The mind adapts and converts to its own purpose the obstacle to our acting”
“The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way, becomes the way”

When we look at the world through this lens…every obstacle provides a chance to practice excellence.


Principle 1: You can’t change things outside of your control, but you can change your attitude.

“You have power over your mind – not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.”
― Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

Thomas Edison

At the age of 67, Edison was having dinner with his family. A loud knocking is at his door. He is informed that there is a fire at his factory. He rushes there to find it completely engulfed in flames. The flames are roaring high emitting blues, reds and greens from the chemicals used in his facility.
He looks over to find his son distraught. He taps on his sons shoulder and reply’s, “quick, get your mother and all of her friends, they’ll never see a fire like this again”

Principle 2: Don’t fall prey to modern society’s materialistic nature.

“Wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants.”
― Epictetus

Principle 3: Picture life without the people and possessions you have to truly appreciate them.

“Do not indulge in dreams of having what you have not, but reckon up the chief of the blessings you do possess, and then thankfully remember how you would crave for them if they were not yours.” ― Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

Principle 4: Be genuinely cheerful in all your interactions.
“A man thus grounded must, whether he wills or not, necessarily be attended by constant cheerfulness and a joy that is deep and issues from deep within, since he finds delight in his own resources, and desires no joys greater than his inner joys.”― Seneca

Principle 5: Practicing your values beats preaching them.

“Don’t explain your philosophy. Embody it.”― Epictetus

To summarize Stoicism, don’t get caught up in materialism, have cheerful interactions with your colleagues to bring them up, perform work diligently and for the greater good, and recognize what’s in and out of your control…don’t let things out of your control affect your joy.

When frustrating things happen, breathe, recognize your emotion and the reason for it, and let it pass. You can’t do anything about it anyway. All that you can control is your reaction, and all you can do is embody goodness and appreciate all you have, which is something I’m sure we’ll all find joy in.