Wednesday, February 24, 2016

Distorted Mirror Syndrome (DMS)


 “Nothing is good or bad, but thinking you looks better or worse than you do, does make it bad”

                                                                                                                  ~ Shakespeare

Have you ever noticed, for the most part, men think they look better than they do while women think they look worse than they actually do. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had consults with couples where the men think they only needs to lose a few pounds, however, they believe their wives could take off about 20-30 Lbs.…."yep…. then she would be fine!”
If you find yourself in a DMS type relationship or work environment… don’t worry.

There is help.

What Are the Treatments for DMS?

Depending on the type and stage of DMS, treatments to eradicate the delusion or slow its growth may include some combination of psychotherapy, radical honesty, or a mirror placed in an unexpected located.

(Have you ever seen yourself in a mirror and thought, “Hey, who’s that fat guy”…and it turns out to be you?)

DMS Support
Supportive care from family’s and other mental professionals should accompany DMS treatment. The goal is to relieve pain from those who have to be around you, maintain a body that looks close to what you think it looks like, general health (for your friends), improve quality of life (for your friends), and provide emotional, and psychological, support to the DMS patients and the poor soul who are forced to be in the same work environment with them. Similar supportive treatment is also available to rehabilitate patients post DMS treatment.

Supportive Therapy
~ Most mainstream care is geared toward providing supportive treatment through the broad resources of a DMS treatment center (this is also for victims of friends). Complementary DMS therapies, which are generally provided outside a gym, can also provide supportive care.

 ~ Join support groups who are post DMS and now realistic about their bodies…this can provide relief from pain and other irreversible symptoms that come from delusional thinking.
~ Friends who don’t allow you to continue to lie to yourself.

~ Tailors…tailors can be helpful in making suggestions on appropriate clothing so you don’t embarrass your children or disgust your friends and family.
~Mirror therapy…the mirror is the way. Ironically, what created the delusion… repairs the delusion. (Remember to place mirror in unexpected locations…for the shock factor)

These are just a few suggestions that can fight this irrational disease for the DMS patient, and lead improved quality of life for friends, family members, and co-workers.

Together we can all fight this horrible neurosis.    

 “Keep in mind, we don’t always see things as they are…we see them the way we want to see them…please…don’t do that! “

                                                                                                        ~ Kelly

 

 

Wednesday, February 10, 2016

Are you ok? How bout those Cowboys!


“Most people tend to delude themselves into thinking that freedom comes from doing what feels good or what fosters comfort and ease. The truth is that people who subordinate reason to their feelings (deflect-my interpretation) of the moment are actually slaves of their desires and aversions. They are ill prepared to act effectively and nobly when unexpected challenges occur, as they inevitably will” ---Epictetus.  

 Psychology today defines deflection as, “the ignoring or turning away from an internal or external emotional issue in order to prevent full recognition.”
Deflection is the unyielding resistance between awareness and action in our quest for cognitive liberation.  Deflection is psychology’s preferred term because it describes the last moment at which we avoid direct contact in favor of a fragmented, less satisfying encounter with the desire we have been working towards.
Example…

The conversation seems too personal (hits too close to home), the relationship becomes too intense, the eye contact too direct, and the feelings too real…. so we deflect the full impact of reality and pretend to be satisfied with something less.
People who struggle with health and nutrition issues spend a lot of their time deflecting.  This can make it extremely difficult to help on many levels; people are misinformed about nutrition and content with their knowledge….they are unaware of the relationship/attachments they have associated with food and don’t want to talk about it, and never satisfied with what they have. They always want more without doing the specific work because it would require recognition of self.   

Deflectors have a hard time clarifying what they really want, or looking at their past history in an authentic way, so they frantically try to fill up the ever expanding void with materialistic objects or helpless personal conditions which prevent them from ever taking responsibility.                        (Existential vacuum and victimization)
Deflection forces us to make contact with our desires in a halfhearted, dampened down way, and so we always leave an experience with the vague feeling that we were cheated, or that there has to be something more. Since you unconsciously lie to yourself about the reason that your contact was unfulfilling, you are likely to project this feeling and blame on others; husband, wife, family, friends, job or government for a problem that really belongs to you.

Like all the issues we would like to change, deflection can also serve a vital function for the individual. Some memories are too painful and some realities too unacceptable. Deflection allows a person to not experience the painful/difficult moments in life. This pattern will always prohibit the true autonomy that one seeks on his or her journey toward enlightenment.
If cognitive liberation is what you seek, then facing internal and external issues are the most important step in personal transformation. (If you can’t face it, you can’t fix it).  Challenge yourself in a way that attacks the issues you avoid, rather than suppressing the delusional past. 

“Mindfulness is the art of mastering your life, not running away from it”
The next time you feel an emotion that triggers avoidance, ask yourself, “What’s the worst thing that can happen?”  You’ll find that the temporary pain of honest recognition is worth the lifelong contentment that emerges from a life lived acknowledging reality.

                          “It’s better to acknowledge the storm than to pretend it does not exist”