Re-framing Negative Thinking

“The mind is its own place and in itself, can make a Heaven of Hell, a Hell of Heaven” - John Milton

What Is Cognitive Re-framing?

Re-framing is a way of changing the way you look at something and, thus, changing your experience of it. (Our words are important) 

How Re-framing Affects Stress

Using re-framing techniques can actually change your physical responses to stress because your body's stress response is triggered by perceived stress, more often than actual events.
If you perceive that you are threatened — physically or psychologically — by a situation, your fight-or-flight response will kick in.


How Re-framing Works

Using re-framing techniques can be simple and easy, especially with practice. To re-frame s to clarify and evaluate our thoughts.

Learn About Thinking Patterns:

The first step in re-framing is to educate yourself about some of these negative thinking patterns that may exacerbate your stress levels. See these common cognitive distortions to see which ones, if any, may come into play in your life.  Educating yourself about thinking patterns and how they affect people is important for laying the groundwork for understanding and change.

Notice Your Thoughts: 

“I am not my thoughts; I am the observer of my thoughts” - Tolle

The next step is to catch yourself when you're slipping into overly negative and stress-inducing patterns of thinking. Being aware of them is an important part of challenging and ultimately changing them. One thing you can do is just become more mindful of your thoughts, as though you're an observer. When you catch negative thinking styles, just note them at first. If you want, you can even keep a journal and start recording (I like to write poems) what's happening in your life and your thoughts surrounding these events, and then examine these thoughts through your new 'lens' to get more practice in catching these thoughts. Another helpful practice is meditation, where you learn to quiet your mind and examine your thoughts. Once you become more of an observer, it's easier to notice your thoughts rather than remaining caught up in them.

Challenge Your Thoughts:

As you notice your negative thoughts, an effective part of re-framing involves examining the truth and accuracy (or lack thereof) of these thoughts. Are the things you're telling yourself even true? Also, what are some other ways to interpret the same set of events? Which ways of seeing things serve you better? Instead of seeing things the way you always have, challenge every negative thought, and see if you can adopt thoughts that fit your situation but reflect a more positive outlook.

That's the gist of re-framing, and you can do it as often as you'd like. Most people are surprised at what a big impact re-framing can have on their experience of stress—changing the way you look at your life can truly change your life.


Become a Yes-sayer

“I want to learn more and more to see as beautiful what is necessary in things; then I shall be one of those who make things beautiful. Amor fati: let that be my love henceforth! I do not want to wage war against what is ugly. I do not want to accuse; I do not even want to accuse those who accuse. Looking away shall be my only negation. And all in all and on the whole: someday I wish to be only a Yes-sayer.” ― Friedrich Nietzsche

The Two Wolves

“Reason is a slave to our passions” David Hume

David Hume was a Scottish philosopher who is best known today for his worldwide popular theory in skepticism and naturalism.

Hume proposed that nothing could be known without perception. (Perception is an accumulation of our experiences via our senses; sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch).

Our perception is the impetus for our actions. We learn from past experiences that convert later in our reasons to choose or not to choose particular actions. Therefore, reasons are not the first line of understanding, but it’s our instincts (Our emotions).

Our thoughts vary substantially - from contentment and anxiety, happiness and anger, satisfaction and resentment, to joy and jealously. This juxtaposition of thoughts is the burden that a conscious creature will have to navigate throughout his life.

This neurological battle of emotional desires and rational thinking is best characterized in the Indian legend of the “Two Wolves”. This metaphorical story talks about one of the most important battles of our life – the one between our good and bad thoughts.

The story:

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.

“It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.” He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

So let me bring this back to the original point of my blog, “It’s not an eating problem”

Emotions can lead to disturbing thoughts. These thoughts, in turn, create more emotions which create more thoughts – and on and on…

The thoughts (the problem) are followed by a behavior. This behavior (overeating, smoking, drinking, gambling, etc.) is what we mistake as the problem, when in fact it’s just the symptom of the problem.

It’s a disruptive loop of mistaken issues.

As it turns out, “It’s not what we’re eating; it’s what eating us”.

The bad wolf in this story is a metaphor for the limbic system. It supports a variety of functions including emotion, behavior, motivation, and long-term memory. Emotional life is largely housed in the limbic system.

The good wolf in this story is the Neocortex. This is the executive director of our behavior.

If impulses dominate our life, it means the bad wolf is in control. One the other hand, if we have the ability to delay immediate gratification, the good wolf is directing the urges of the limbic desires.

One of the most effective ways to deal with the bad wolf’s emotional thoughts is by taking a deep breath and then disputing them.

Before following the impulse, hold your own thought pattern under scrutiny and ask yourself:

- Is this thought true and accurate? Build your case with real-world evidence: write down all proof for your beliefs in one column and the counter-examples in the other.

- If you do find support for your beliefs, is that evidence accurate or just another symptom of your distorted thinking?

- Is this thought helpful in the long run or just distressing?

- What’s the worst thing that can happen? On a scale from 1 to 10, how likely is it that this will actually happen?

- What would you tell your best friend if they had these negative thoughts?

- In which ways would your life change if you stopped believing your negative thoughts?

This method will create greater peace, confidence and a more positive outlook by learning how to clarify and evaluate our thoughts. After all, this battle can be won because we have the ability to become more aware of the choices we make and the payoffs we receive.

We do what we do because we get something from it.

There is a lot we can learn from this Chinese proverb:

- Be careful of your thoughts, for your thoughts become your words.

- Be careful of your words, for your words become your actions.

- Be careful of your actions, for your actions become your habits.

- Be careful of your habits, for your habits become your character.

- Be careful of your character, for your character becomes your destiny.


The next topic will focus on the cognitive dilemma concerning the fight or flight mechanism in modern times.

This issue is called the Amygdala Hi-jacking.

Kelly Hitchcock: It's not an Eating Problem

Kelly Hitchcock: It's not an Eating Problem: It’s not an eating problem; it’s an emotional thinking problem. When you get this, you can logically think about the symptoms (eating, smoki...

It's not an Eating Problem

It’s not an eating problem; it’s an emotional thinking problem. When you get this, you can logically think about the symptoms (eating, smoking, drinking, etc.) that manifest from emotional thinking.

Do you disagree?

If it’s not a thinking problem, what is it?

No one is making you eat anything. It’s your choice. Do you think you’re choosing to eat certain foods because you’re hungry or perhaps just because they taste good? 

Maybe - but maybe not?

Think about it; you know the health issues related to being overweight. You know the body image issues associated with being overweight. We know that a diet composed of high fat, high sugar and high salt wreak havoc on our health and looks, so why do we do it? 

Have you ever considered the neurological payoff that you may be receiving from these foods? We know that dopamine is the reward neural transmitter in our brain. When we partake in a pleasurable activity, our dopamine levels spike in our brains pleasure center. 

This almost always guarantees we will be more likely to return to that activity. This is the same mechanism that makes us desire the foods we choose to eat.

Fat, salt, and sugar elicit a large dopamine response because at one time in our history the nutrients were extremely hard to come by. (Our dopamine levels are actually higher prior to eating the food…this mechanism drives us to make our food choices based on the past experiences with the food)

These nutrients (fat, salt, and sugar) are essential nutrients for our species survival. It’s very ironic that what was once hard to get is now available in abundance.

Fast forward to modernity and we have once again, as humans do, over corrected.  It’s very ironic that what was once hard to get is now available in abundance. (This is the subconscious work of the limbic system)

We are all at the mercy of our limbic system. Our emotions drive our behavior, and our consciousness tries to rationalize our behavior.

Our subconscious and conscious battle will be the next topic I will cover. 

This is the good wolf bad wolf story – the wolf that wins is the wolf you feed.

The Aspiration Gap

“I do not understand why I do what I do; for what I want to do I don’t do, but what I hate I do”   – Romans 7:15

What’s your aspiration? Before you answer this, ask yourself two questions:

1. What am I doing right now? (Write it down)  Nutritionally, exercise, reading, watching, my job, after work hours, and weekends.

2. What type of life would I like to have, and how far apart are the above interests from the life I say I want?

This is called the aspiration gap – this is the distance between what I’m currently doing and where I want to be? Depending on the distance, this issue can be quite troubling for some people causing aspiration paralysis. The wider the gap, the more stress and anxiety.
Within the aspirational gap lies a psychological conundrum called cognitive dissonance.

"Cognitive dissonance is labeled as, “the stress and anxiety that results from simultaneously holding contradictory or otherwise incompatible attitudes, desires, and beliefs” –Dictionary.com

The Aspiration Gap is that space between the changes I am now able to make and those that I know I need to make. I have a paradoxical relationship with my Aspiration Gap; on one hand, I want to close it, bringing my practices closer to my knowledge of where they need to be; on the other hand, I need to keep aspiring to more realistically sustainable changes, while continually stretching and extending my aspirations.

There is a fine balancing act of keeping my aspirations far enough from my current practices to keep me from becoming too comfortable, but close enough so that I don’t become overly discouraged. I also have to stay keenly aware of the fact that it’s the journey toward my aspiration, not the aspiration itself - which is the reward. If we only focus on the aspiration, we risk losing the message of what it means to aspire. The reality is, aspiring is a process, not a destination. This process can be used in all of our desired transitions to develop workable goals and to close the aspiration gap in all areas of our lives.

The concept of The Aspiration Gap also highlights two connected, though in some ways distinct areas where the place I am and the place I want to need to operate. While it is a great challenge to change our energy practices both individually and as a community, it is also crucial that we change our beliefs - because we don’t do what we know; we do what we believe.

While we aspire to live a better quality of life, the belief that it’s possible can also make a big difference.

A well lived life is the manifestation of aspiration, perspiration, and inspiration.

What do I Want?

"We all want progress, but if you're on the wrong road, progress means doing an about-turn and walking back to the right road; in that case, the man who turns back soonest is the most progressive" -C. S. Lewis

What do I want to accomplish?

Why do I want to accomplish this?

What are the requirements?

What are the constraints?

I’ve been in the personal training business for over 30 years. I’ve had clients who are very successful, and I have clients who’ve made minimal changes.

What is the difference in the two groups?

Thoughts

That’s right – thoughts.

It’s not a slow metabolism – it’s not gluten intolerance – it’s not carb sensitivity – it’s not that you don’t have enough time.

It’s our thoughts

The reason we don’t change for long is because we have a set of beliefs that keep us who we are – not who we want to be.

Think about it – everything you’re doing right now is a reflection of your thoughts and beliefs.
If you attempt a new diet with the same belief system, guess what? It’s only matter of time before you return to your old patterns of behavior because of your belief system.

We don’t do what we know, we do what we believe.

If you’re looking to change something don’t look for external fixes, you hold the keys to success in the palm of your hand – actually, the secret is between your ears.

Nothing changes if nothing changes.

If the changes occur internally, the externals will follow.

Wake Up

My fear is no struggle
A life of comfort and ease
We begin to lose all perspective
Good intentions – we’re creating a malignant disease

In this new world of abundance
Stress consumes our days and nights
No meaning to our existence - our future
Tragically lost – we’re losing modernity’s fight

We’re apathetic with no hunger
Our self-pity can’t be denied
Content with our arrogance and ignorance
No awareness of the emptiness inside

The goal - fame and fortune
Dying to have our story told
However; it’s just an empty presentation
It’s the Faustian selling of our soul

So we present a beautiful image
Write a cute little quote
We vociferously display our misfortunes
Any attention gives us hope

We reward bad behavior
We enable the weak
Misguided altruistic behavior
Humanity - looks extremely bleak

The wise must speak up
Regardless of ridicule or fears
The medicine may be bitter
But it’s the path to drying all of our tears

So stand up for the truth
Fight the emotional battle inside
With responsibility, gratitude, and virtue
Humanity grows - and we begin to flourish in our lives

Our past history is now the present
Mindfulness - the moment is right here
Do the right thing – be strong
Before we naively disappear

Thoughts - "I think, therefore I am"

“I think, therefore I am” - Rene Descartes

Descartes quote clearly defines what it means to be human – “I think, therefore I am” …I have thoughts, so therefore I exist. If you examine this quote a little closer, a deeper meaning will begin to emerge.

All mammals think; however, humans have special feature called consciousness.

The fact that “I think”, (consciousness awareness) means I have a personal perspective that affects the way I see the world around me. This perspective is largely based on experiences, interactions, (and the tricky part) and interpretations.

The way I perceive (I think) the world creates the person (I am) that you know through my behavior.

Since all of our perceptions are based on experiences and interactions, we all see the world through our own lens.

As Yoda said, “we find what we bring”

With that being said, let’s take a look at the unique perception that creates the thoughts that triggers the behavior that defines each one of us as a unique human being.

Some people naturally think positive thoughts; I got this! No problem! Get out of my way! Who cares what they think. I don’t lose, I learn! A person with this attitude is seen as mentally strong, assertive, and self-confident.

There are also those who think negative; I’ll never make it. It’s too hard. What will they think? I can’t do it. I’m not smart enough. A person with this attitude may be labeled as one who catastrophizes, procrastinates, and has low self-esteem.

As you can see, our thoughts have narratives. The narrative, or internal dialogue, is the little voice in our head that comments on our life, whether that is what is going on around us, or what we are thinking consciously or manifest sub-consciously.

All of us have an internal dialogue, and it’s running all the time. In Buddhism it’s called the monkey mind. Buddha described the human mind as being filled with drunken monkeys, jumping around, screeching, chattering, and carrying on endlessly.

“We all have monkey minds”, Buddha said, “with dozens of monkeys all clamoring for attention.” Fear is an especially a loud monkey, sounding the alarm incessantly, pointing out all the things we should be wary of and everything that could go wrong.

In psychology, these incessant thoughts are called cognitive distortion or automatic negative thoughts (ANT’s).

The less awareness we have of these thoughts, the more they define us.

Some of us, however, are more aware of our thoughts. When I say aware I mean the ability to separate self from the thoughts by becoming the observer. When you observe the thoughts you have a better understanding and are able to clarify and evaluate the thoughts by applying logic and reason to what is happening.

Michael Singer is the author of #1 New York Times bestseller The Untethered Soul, had this to say about “watching” thoughts (this implies becoming the observer);
“To attain true inner freedom, you must be able to objectively watch your problems instead
of being lost in them. No solution can possibly exist while you’re lost in the energy of a
problem. Everyone knows you can’t deal well with a situation if you’re getting anxious,
scared, or angry about it. The first problem you have to deal with is your own reaction.”

Follow me for the next 7 short blogs that will cover:

- Internal dialogue

- Becoming the observer

- Changing the internal dialogue

- Violent positivity

- Living in the present

- Gratitude and acceptance

- Mastering self

Please feel free to comment!

Become the Observer

“Personal awareness precedes personal transformation”

If you’re tired of people, look no further than yourself.

That’s right – take a look at you.

There’s only one person you can change, and that’s you!

Self-awareness is having the ability to step back and see yourself from a distance, to analyze your internal dialogue, and to examine your agendas and expectations.

The most important part (and the hardest part) is to observe all these things from a nonjudgmental perspective. When it comes to personal perspectives we are all guilty of cognitive biases and blind spots that work against our quest for self-knowledge.

Follow these steps:

- Awareness of the internal dialogue

- Clarify and evaluate the thoughts (don't judge)

- Acceptance (change what you can change - let go of what you cannot)


“Know thy self; the unexamined life is not worth living” - Socrates

Mastery of Self

The anxious sense of self
Forged in a flawed reality
The blind internal drives
Percolating in the cortex just beneath

Ubiquitous is the struggle
Antiquities impressions preside
Reptilian hardwired features
Dominance – an extreme will to survive

Anxiety, fear, and anger
Emotions hard to please
Audacious insatiable appetites
Malignant cancerous disease

The struggle - the fight
A metaphorical demonic hold
We fall - dropping to our knees
Surrendering to our insufferable lonely souls

A metamorphosis occurs
Emerging - as if from a really bad dream
Awareness to the Truth
Nothing - is as it seems

We’re not worthless and dirty
Decrepit and weak
We’re a conscious creature of habit
That’s what makes us special and unique

The subconscious desires are what move us
They indiscriminately influence our lives
But consumed in abundance
Tragically – will lead to our demise

So be ravenous in moderation
Temper - don’t deny
Learn to live in the present moment
Be real – not a fictitious virtuous disguise

Awareness of our human nature
Acceptance – the glory; the triumph of our past
Appreciation for this opportunity
Autonomy - liberation manifest at last

The Mastery of Self
Striving to fulfill all that be one can be
Transcending all self-expectations
Profound – a unique master in modernity 

Whats Your Story?

Let’s do this!

I don’t have enough time

I want it bad!

It’s too hard

I don’t lose…I learn!

I’m scared what they might think

You’re never too old!

I’m too old

Right now!

I’ll do it tomorrow


Most times it’s all a matter of perspective

Intermittent Fasting

I haven’t blogged in a while because I’ve been working diligently on writing a book regarding human behavior.
Typically I’m writing about health and fitness, but truthfully, the whole topic has really become boring to me. Don’t get me wrong, I love it; you could say I’m obsessed with it; however, once you know the science behind nutrition and exercise it’s pretty easy and redundant.

What I do find interesting is trying to figure out why we (people) do what we do.
For instance, a friend of mine just text me and wanted me to blog about intermittent fasting. I almost bit on this topic by explaining the science behind what takes place at the molecular level when we restrict eating for long periods of time – but quickly I thought, why?

It’s pointless.

I’ve learned that it’s very difficult to effectively debunk misinformation. I just provide a listening ear, and if asked, I give the science, and move on. Human behavior is largely based on emotions which are highly biased - so when presented with facts and evidence, it often does nothing to change people’s minds.

A large percentage of the time, when I provide scientific information that contradict someone’s belief, there is a backfire (the back fire effect) that occurs. A belief, after all, is a strongly held position about a topic that we think we have discerned without emotions. In other words, we think that we have made an intellectual decision.

The backfire effect is an interesting aspect of human psychology. When an opinion is contradicted by facts, instead of the opinion changing, it gets strengthened. Due to this effect, whenever you are confronted with facts that contradict something you believe, instead of changing your view or forming a new opinion, your original beliefs will often be strengthened.

Once we develop beliefs, we want to protect them from harm. We do this instinctively and unconsciously when we are confronted with contradictory information. One of the first things we do is seek confirmation bias (seek information that supports our position). The second thing we do is dig in deeper to our belief.

So confirmation bias shields us by actively seeking information that we want to be true (rather than truth), and the backfire effect defends us when the scientific information blindsides you.

Coming or going, we stick to our beliefs instead of questioning them. When someone tries to correct us or tries to dilute our misconceptions, it backfires and strengthens those misconceptions instead.

When it comes to nutrition we have the science. We know what works based on using the scientific method.

The scientific method is a process for experimentation that is used to explore observations and answer questions.

1. Ask a question
2. Research
3. Hypothesis
4. Experiment
5. Data/Analysis
6. Conclusion

With this information, the study either supports the hypothesis or not. That’s science.

So back to intermittent fasting - due to the backfire effect I’m going to set this one out.

The main thing I would like for us all to be aware of is the dangers of seeking information based on feeling rather than facts.  Our brain is very emotional. We’d rather feel more and think less.

The evolutionary neural wiring of the brain is such that our emotional brain overpowers the cognitive brain (executive director) almost every time.
It takes a conscious effort to understand this so as not to fall victim to this cognitive bias called the backfire effect.

In conclusion, I believe we have an obligation and responsibility, not only for ourselves, but for our children as well, to seek the truth.

Let’s all join in together to challenge misleading information that may be susceptible to the backfire effect that could lead to many years of repeating the same mistakes over and over again.