The Reality

By Kelly Hitchcock

The reality of the world

It’s indifferent to you and me

Life is contingent on birth and death

That’s it - It's a paradoxical irony

Our modern eyes have become distorted

We see complete order - are we all fools?

We ignore the obvious

Survival is the exception, death is the rule

We try hard to save the world

As if it needs to be saved

We obsessively worry all through the night

And we frantically pray during the day

We do all we can to ignore or avoid the obvious

The internal narrative we push down deep inside

We are afraid to acknowledge it

We're scared of what lies on the other side

So we make a stronger drink

We smoke or eat so much we can't breathe

We watch a movie

Try to have sex - but one can't fulfill the deed

The reality - the world doesn't need our help

We are the poor souls about to die

Perhaps that's why this bothers you?

The real tragedy -  you and I

Awake for Change

The steps for behavioral change are often interconnected, and their order of importance can vary depending on the individual and the specific behavior being addressed. However, a general sequence from most to least important could look like this:

Awareness and Recognition: Understanding and accepting that a change is needed is the first and most crucial step. Without recognizing the need for change, no progress can be made.

Commitment and Motivation: Once aware, a strong commitment to change is essential. This includes having a clear motivation or reason for wanting to change, which will help sustain efforts over time.

Goal Setting: Establishing specific, measurable, and realistic goals provides a roadmap for the change process. This step involves breaking down the desired behavior into manageable steps.

Planning and Preparation: Developing a concrete plan for how to achieve these goals is critical. This might include identifying potential obstacles and planning how to overcome them.

Action and Implementation: This step involves taking the necessary actions to start the behavior change. It may require building new habits, eliminating old ones, or modifying existing behaviors.

Monitoring and Evaluation: Regularly assessing progress helps to stay on track and make necessary adjustments. This step also includes self-reflection to ensure that the changes are leading to the desired outcomes.

Support and Accountability: Having a support system or someone to hold you accountable can significantly improve the chances of success. This could involve friends, family, a coach, or a support group.

Maintenance and Sustainability: Ensuring that the new behavior is maintained over the long term is crucial. This step may involve reinforcing the behavior, adapting strategies as needed, and staying motivated.

Relapse Prevention and Management: Understanding that setbacks might occur and having a plan for how to handle them can prevent a complete return to old behaviors. This step is about resilience and learning from mistakes.

Friction

Swimming against the current

Walking into the wind

Trying to lift yourself up

After a "friend" knocks you down once again

Life's harsh reality:

Something will always block your way

Overcoming this truth

Begins with what you think, then say

What is, is

The moment quickly becomes the past

We either accept this truth

Or peace never last

The energy we give

Is often our first mistake

Emotions evoked

Brings an opportunity - motivation or hate

Say yes to this life—

The good, the bad, all it brings

This keeps us out of the fire

We can let go and not cling

What we resist persists

Take it in, let it flow, don't fight

Accepting reality

Unshackles the sufferings and fright

What we resist persist

Creating friction inside

Control the controllable

Now go live a good life

Indifferent

A storm gathers on the horizon

I sense the pressure in the air

Seeking shelter from the chaos

Yet the world remains unaware

For the world is indifferent

Its axis turns without pause

It’s not events that disturb us

But the stories we make our cause

Thoughts give rise to emotions

Emotions dictate our way

We build an image of ourselves

A mask we wear every day

So let go of the narrative

You are not harsh words or fear

Be the observer of your life

Distract the mind, yet be clear

Amygdala's grip can seize us

Thoughts distorted, confused

Remember, what you choose to see

Shapes the world and all its hues

Hear the words and let them flow

To find peace, let knowledge go

To truly live and feel unconfined

All change must come from within the mind

Now you are free

With open eyes and a heart unchained

Though the world may remain the same

Inside, transformation is gained

Be careful, we become what we despise

 "He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." - Nietzsche

The quote from Nietzsche, "He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you," captures a timeless truth about the nature of evil. Evil can corrupt anyone who remains in its environment and doesn't remain aware of its enticing nature. We see this dynamic in current societal debates, where opposing groups push their ideologies without considering the consequences. One group advocates for the Ten Commandments in all schools, while the other supports drag queens teaching sex education. These extremes illustrate that compromise isn't always the solution. So, what should we do?

This is where Nietzsche's idea of the abyss becomes relevant. What if the abyss we're staring into is ourselves? The first journey should always be inward, exploring our subconscious and bringing it into consciousness. In this process, we must reconcile with our egoic self, encountering darkness, monsters, and evil within. The abyss, then, represents the depths of our own being, and the monsters (instincts) we fight are parts of ourselves.

It’s easy to believe we are the monsters, but in my opinion, while they are part of us, they do not define us, just like my right arm doesn't define my entire being. We possess darkness and vices (bad), but also virtues and qualities that represent light (good). I strive not to lose sight of the monsters within my abyss, keeping one eye on them without letting them dominate my focus. This balance helps prevent them from becoming the dominant force in my life. Hopefully, this perspective offers some clarity, reflecting my personal experiences and interpretation of the quote.

“If we’re not careful we become just like the very thing we despise”

Amor fati - the love of life

Another day goes by

Another year has passed

I'm immersed in this thing called life

A life that won't last

Am I doing my best?

Am I wasting my time?

Is everything trivial?

Have I passed my prime?

Such are the questions

That flow through my mind

Was I cursed with curiosity?

Or blessed to always ask why?

I wasn't born with the extreme need to believe

I was born with the daunting task to know

To use logic and reason

And let the emotions go

I learn to listen to the voice

The narrative that infects the mind

To acknowledge the kid

Who was trapped deep down inside

Ironically, when I let go of him

He gave me the gift to see

This can be a beautiful life

But only I can liberate me

Today is another opportunity

To experience the beauty life brings

I've learned to love it all

The good, the bad, Amor fati  

Note to Self:

 Personal awareness precedes personal transformation. 

Grant yourself the gift of clarity and the strength to accept the things in my life that are unchangeable; summon the courage to transform the things within your control; and nurture the wisdom that recognizes that change begins with you.

Henceforth, embrace each day as a unique moment, for it is the only true currency of existence. Regardless of external influences, hold steadfast to the path of righteousness, for therein lies your fortitude. Use this newfound inner strength to gracefully accept life's trials, knowing that the past remains immutable. The path to serenity is paved by embracing (accepting) the unpredictable nature of this world, not by imposing your desires upon it. By acknowledging your destiny, you affirm that your life is as it should be, irrespective of your aspirations. Release your expectations, or they will shackle you.

Cease to obsess over others, for they are not the problem; it is your perception of them that troubles you. Take an oath to abandon the habit of fixating on the future, as it only serves to torment your mind with stress and anxiety, affecting both yourself and those you cherish. Finally, by relinquishing external events and taking charge of your internal narrative, you will unlock your true potential and optimize your well-being.

Remember, nothing in life changes except your perspective—and in this shift lies the power to transform everything.

"When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change."

- Wayne Dyer

Woke ?

Proudly, we say we're smarter

Boast of our many responsibilities

Yet, we crave to work less and have more

Riding the wave of yesterday's industrious societies

The truth is we're not wiser

We deflect responsibility

Entitled, we stand

Woke? Oh, the irony

Does age bring wisdom?

Today’s youth refuse to wait in line

They deem themselves more intelligent

A sophisticated kind of mind

So they judge

Screaming at the top of their lungs

Virtually canceling you

Piously thinking they’ve won

If they win the battle

They will lose the war

Cornered by their own actions

It's like being in a room with no door

Like a snake eating its own tail

They’ve become what they despise

Be careful what you wish for

Never mistake passionate emotions as being wise

So, when you think you have all the answers

You refer to yourself as caring and great

Let us hope this is part of the process

Perhaps you have to be woke before you awake?

Tragedy of the Species

The Human Condition and Self-Awareness

Humans are unique in their capacity for self-awareness, a trait that allows us to reflect on our existence, question our purpose, and seek meaning. This ability sets us apart from other species but also brings with it a host of existential (questions about life, “what does this all mean?”) challenges. Our awareness of mortality, the search for purpose, and the understanding that life is ephemeral (short) can lead to many of our psychological burdens.

Our Evolutionary Dilemma  

Our brains evolved in environments where life was very fragile, food was scarce, and immediate dangers were ever-present. Traits like fear, anxiety, aggression, and a heightened fight-or-flight response were advantageous (necessary) in such primitive times. However, in the modern world, where many of our basic needs are met with relative ease, these same traits have become destructive. The constant state of alertness and the existential questioning that our advanced intellect brings can lead to mental health issues such as chronic anxiety and depression. Ironically, as our environment continues to become easier, I'm afraid we will suffer more and more. I believe the only way for humans to overcome this neurological hardwiring is to acknowledge the ancient biological drives and use tools such as CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) and structured philosophies based in logic and reason, such as Stoicism, to manage and temper these ancient drives.

Peter Zapffe's Perspective

Peter Zapffe's, a Norwegian philosopher and mountaineer, had a philosophy that was considered pessimistic and fatalistic when it comes to human existence. He believed that human consciousness might be an overdeveloped trait, leading to what he terms a "biological paradox." He suggests that our advanced cognitive abilities might render us unfit for the very life they evolved to enhance. His comparison to the extinct deer with overly heavy antlers is my favorite that illustrates this point vividly; “just as their magnificent antlers became a hindrance to survival, our rich inner lives can become burdensome.”

*The “Irish Elk,” Megaloceros giganteus, ranged beyond Ireland and its closest living relative is the fallow deer, not the elk. The Irish elk’s antlers got too big and heavy, causing males to get tangled in trees and sink into bogs and lakes and therefore leading to his extinction.

Zapffe contends that humans have the ability to overcome their dilemma by using self deception. He identifies four defense mechanisms that We use to cope with the existential burden of self-awareness:

Isolation: This involves consciously or unconsciously ignoring or suppressing thoughts that could disturb our mental peace.

Anchoring: Relying on stable and familiar points of reference to provide a sense of security and prevent existential angst.

Distraction: Engaging in continuous activity or entertainment to avoid introspection and the accompanying discomfort.

Sublimation: Redirecting potentially negative or destructive impulses into socially acceptable or constructive activities, such as art, science, or work.

The Tragic Beauty of Human Evolution

Despite these challenges, the story of human evolution is one of remarkable adaptability and resilience. Our ability to create, innovate, and find meaning in various aspects of life speaks to the strength of our species. By understanding and accepting the complexities of our consciousness, we can appreciate the beauty and tragedy of our existence.

In today's world, where technology continues to advance rapidly, it's crucial to maintain an awareness of our subconscious drives that play a major role in our physical health, and our psychological and existential needs. While technological progress can address many issues, it does not solve the deeper questions of meaning and purpose. A balanced approach that includes philosophical, psychological, and social considerations is essential for addressing the human condition.

Thank you for allowing me to reflect on the paradoxes of human existence. By acknowledging our unique challenges and embracing the richness of our conscious experience, we can navigate the complexities of modern life with greater understanding and compassion. The journey of self-awareness, while fraught with difficulties, also offers profound opportunities for growth, connection, and fulfillment.

“Self awareness precedes personal transformation”

The Burden of Awareness

The burden of awareness

How can this be?

The fact that I'm self aware

Allows me to identify me

Im aware of my thoughts

Visions emerge in my mind

Are they distorted?

A fictitious story unrefined

We are self conscious creatures

Blessed some might say?

But we cant sleep at night

And can't find purpose or meaning during the day

Our mind is racing

Busy thoughts with no plans

Who could have guessed

Awareness, a conundrum for modern man

So, is it a blessing?

We’re shamelessly aware of our sins

We can't love ourselves

We’re aware life is ephemeral, then it ends

As a self aware creature

We have to keep our eyes opened wide

We have to learn to accept reality 

We suffer greatly when we tell ourselves lies

The purpose in life is to find your gift

Meaning comes from giving that gift away

And remember, people know you by what you do

So make sure your actions are inline with what you say

The burden of awareness

A creature awakened over time

Is it a blessing or a curse?

It depends on what you choose to allow to occupy your mind

What Is My Agenda?

 What Is My Agenda? 

Self-improvement is a lifelong journey that often begins with a single question: What is my agenda? This inquiry is not just about planning daily tasks but delving deeper into understanding our true desires, goals, and the essence of who we are.

Defining My Agenda

What is my agenda? How do I want my life to be? These questions may seem simple, yet they hold the key to profound self-discovery and growth. At its core, my agenda is to be my best self and to serve others. I aim to help anyone in need, embracing the challenges that come my way. The harder the battle, the greater the growth. This may sound selfish, but is it? It is not. It is a path to fulfillment through selflessness.

Serving Others

My agenda includes being there for others—not to dictate their actions but to offer a helping hand or a thoughtful suggestion. It’s about encouraging others to think critically about their choices and possibilities. By supporting others, we also enrich our own lives, creating a cycle of mutual growth and understanding.

Living Fully and Honestly

I strive to live a life without regrets or "shoulda’s." Embracing failures as part of the journey, I focus on gratitude and the lessons each experience brings. However, self-improvement demands honesty, starting with oneself. Am I being honest with myself? Admitting our flaws and vulnerabilities is challenging. For me, it involves confronting personal habits and the discomfort they bring, like the metaphorical mirror that reflects my deepest insecurities. Yet, this honesty is crucial for genuine growth.

Facing Reality

Facing reality means seeking truth and remaining open to changing our perspectives. It involves a commitment to authenticity and a willingness to adapt. By embracing this mindset, I ensure that I am not rigidly fixed in my views but am constantly evolving.

The Essence of My Agenda

Ultimately, my agenda is to be the best version of myself, driven by service and honesty. It is less of an agenda and more of a life plan—a blueprint for continuous self-improvement. This journey is not just about achieving specific goals but about cultivating a mindset of growth, empathy, and resilience.

In reflecting on these questions and defining my agenda, I find clarity and purpose. It is a reminder that self-improvement is an ongoing process, one that requires patience, dedication, and a genuine desire to be better each day.