The Two Wolves

“Reason is a slave to our passions” David Hume

David Hume was a Scottish philosopher who is best known today for his worldwide popular theory in skepticism and naturalism.

Hume proposed that nothing could be known without perception. (Perception is an accumulation of our experiences via our senses; sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch).

Our perception is the impetus for our actions. We learn from past experiences that convert later in our reasons to choose or not to choose particular actions. Therefore, reasons are not the first line of understanding, but it’s our instincts (Our emotions).

Our thoughts vary substantially - from contentment and anxiety, happiness and anger, satisfaction and resentment, to joy and jealously. This juxtaposition of thoughts is the burden that a conscious creature will have to navigate throughout his life.

This neurological battle of emotional desires and rational thinking is best characterized in the Indian legend of the “Two Wolves”. This metaphorical story talks about one of the most important battles of our life – the one between our good and bad thoughts.

The story:

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.

“It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.” He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

So let me bring this back to the original point of my blog, “It’s not an eating problem”

Emotions can lead to disturbing thoughts. These thoughts, in turn, create more emotions which create more thoughts – and on and on…

The thoughts (the problem) are followed by a behavior. This behavior (overeating, smoking, drinking, gambling, etc.) is what we mistake as the problem, when in fact it’s just the symptom of the problem.

It’s a disruptive loop of mistaken issues.

As it turns out, “It’s not what we’re eating; it’s what eating us”.

The bad wolf in this story is a metaphor for the limbic system. It supports a variety of functions including emotion, behavior, motivation, and long-term memory. Emotional life is largely housed in the limbic system.

The good wolf in this story is the Neocortex. This is the executive director of our behavior.

If impulses dominate our life, it means the bad wolf is in control. One the other hand, if we have the ability to delay immediate gratification, the good wolf is directing the urges of the limbic desires.

One of the most effective ways to deal with the bad wolf’s emotional thoughts is by taking a deep breath and then disputing them.

Before following the impulse, hold your own thought pattern under scrutiny and ask yourself:

- Is this thought true and accurate? Build your case with real-world evidence: write down all proof for your beliefs in one column and the counter-examples in the other.

- If you do find support for your beliefs, is that evidence accurate or just another symptom of your distorted thinking?

- Is this thought helpful in the long run or just distressing?

- What’s the worst thing that can happen? On a scale from 1 to 10, how likely is it that this will actually happen?

- What would you tell your best friend if they had these negative thoughts?

- In which ways would your life change if you stopped believing your negative thoughts?

This method will create greater peace, confidence and a more positive outlook by learning how to clarify and evaluate our thoughts. After all, this battle can be won because we have the ability to become more aware of the choices we make and the payoffs we receive.

We do what we do because we get something from it.

There is a lot we can learn from this Chinese proverb:

- Be careful of your thoughts, for your thoughts become your words.

- Be careful of your words, for your words become your actions.

- Be careful of your actions, for your actions become your habits.

- Be careful of your habits, for your habits become your character.

- Be careful of your character, for your character becomes your destiny.


The next topic will focus on the cognitive dilemma concerning the fight or flight mechanism in modern times.

This issue is called the Amygdala Hi-jacking.

The Aspiration Gap

“I do not understand why I do what I do; for what I want to do I don’t do, but what I hate I do”   – Romans 7:15

What’s your aspiration? Before you answer this, ask yourself two questions:

1. What am I doing right now? (Write it down)  Nutritionally, exercise, reading, watching, my job, after work hours, and weekends.

2. What type of life would I like to have, and how far apart are the above interests from the life I say I want?

This is called the aspiration gap – this is the distance between what I’m currently doing and where I want to be? Depending on the distance, this issue can be quite troubling for some people causing aspiration paralysis. The wider the gap, the more stress and anxiety.
Within the aspirational gap lies a psychological conundrum called cognitive dissonance.

"Cognitive dissonance is labeled as, “the stress and anxiety that results from simultaneously holding contradictory or otherwise incompatible attitudes, desires, and beliefs” –Dictionary.com

The Aspiration Gap is that space between the changes I am now able to make and those that I know I need to make. I have a paradoxical relationship with my Aspiration Gap; on one hand, I want to close it, bringing my practices closer to my knowledge of where they need to be; on the other hand, I need to keep aspiring to more realistically sustainable changes, while continually stretching and extending my aspirations.

There is a fine balancing act of keeping my aspirations far enough from my current practices to keep me from becoming too comfortable, but close enough so that I don’t become overly discouraged. I also have to stay keenly aware of the fact that it’s the journey toward my aspiration, not the aspiration itself - which is the reward. If we only focus on the aspiration, we risk losing the message of what it means to aspire. The reality is, aspiring is a process, not a destination. This process can be used in all of our desired transitions to develop workable goals and to close the aspiration gap in all areas of our lives.

The concept of The Aspiration Gap also highlights two connected, though in some ways distinct areas where the place I am and the place I want to need to operate. While it is a great challenge to change our energy practices both individually and as a community, it is also crucial that we change our beliefs - because we don’t do what we know; we do what we believe.

While we aspire to live a better quality of life, the belief that it’s possible can also make a big difference.

A well lived life is the manifestation of aspiration, perspiration, and inspiration.

Become the Observer

“Personal awareness precedes personal transformation”

If you’re tired of people, look no further than yourself.

That’s right – take a look at you.

There’s only one person you can change, and that’s you!

Self-awareness is having the ability to step back and see yourself from a distance, to analyze your internal dialogue, and to examine your agendas and expectations.

The most important part (and the hardest part) is to observe all these things from a nonjudgmental perspective. When it comes to personal perspectives we are all guilty of cognitive biases and blind spots that work against our quest for self-knowledge.

Follow these steps:

- Awareness of the internal dialogue

- Clarify and evaluate the thoughts (don't judge)

- Acceptance (change what you can change - let go of what you cannot)


“Know thy self; the unexamined life is not worth living” - Socrates

Mastery of Self

The anxious sense of self
Forged in a flawed reality
The blind internal drives
Percolating in the cortex just beneath

Ubiquitous is the struggle
Antiquities impressions preside
Reptilian hardwired features
Dominance – an extreme will to survive

Anxiety, fear, and anger
Emotions hard to please
Audacious insatiable appetites
Malignant cancerous disease

The struggle - the fight
A metaphorical demonic hold
We fall - dropping to our knees
Surrendering to our insufferable lonely souls

A metamorphosis occurs
Emerging - as if from a really bad dream
Awareness to the Truth
Nothing - is as it seems

We’re not worthless and dirty
Decrepit and weak
We’re a conscious creature of habit
That’s what makes us special and unique

The subconscious desires are what move us
They indiscriminately influence our lives
But consumed in abundance
Tragically – will lead to our demise

So be ravenous in moderation
Temper - don’t deny
Learn to live in the present moment
Be real – not a fictitious virtuous disguise

Awareness of our human nature
Acceptance – the glory; the triumph of our past
Appreciation for this opportunity
Autonomy - liberation manifest at last

The Mastery of Self
Striving to fulfill all that be one can be
Transcending all self-expectations
Profound – a unique master in modernity 

CBT Disputing Negative Thoughts

If you find that you are feeling angry, depressed, upset, or anxious, take this as a clue to examine your thinking. Make a habit of using your negative feelings as a cue to begin the Disputing Negative Thoughts practice.
Reality Testing

-What is my evidence for and against my thinking?
-Are my thoughts factual, or are they just my interpretations?
-Am I jumping to negative conclusions?
-How can I find out if my thoughts are actually true?

If your thought is a core belief, write it out and ask yourself, “Is this thought 100% true ALL of the time?”. Begin creating a list of any and all instances you find that are not true.
Look for Alternate Explanations

-Are there any other ways that I could look at this situation?
-What else could this mean?
-If I were being positive, how would I perceive this situation?

Put Things in Perspective
When you are feeling upset, you are likely to think about things in a way that is much more extreme than the actual situation. This can make the negative feelings a lot worse. Putting things in perspective, can help you to reduce this extreme self-talk.

-Is this situation as bad as I am making out to be?
-What is the worst thing that could happen? How likely is it?
-What is the best thing that could happen?
-What is most likely to happen?
-Is there anything good about this situation?
-Will this matter in five years’ time?

Use Goal-directed Thinking – Recognizing that your current way of thinking might be self-defeating can sometimes motivate you to look at things from a different perspective.

-Is thinking this way helping me to feel good or to achieve my goals?
-What can I do that will help me solve the problem?
-Is there something I can learn from this situation, to help me do it better next time?

Do a cost-benefit analysis of believing your thought. Ask yourself, “How will it help me to believe this thought?” and “How does it hurt me to believe this thought?”. Write down your answers and decide if believing this thought is more harmful than good. If so practice choosing to let it go, or opening to the possibility that your thought is not true.
History
This technique is one of the core practices of cognitive therapy. This direction in therapy was mainly pioneered by Aaron Beck.

Journal to Self-Awareness

Journaling is the first step in self-awareness. A thought is fleeting; a paragraph is reflective.
Let’s start this year off with a different approach. Rather than looking externally for “fixes”, let’s look internally for “resolutions”.

There are many ways to self-reflect, but keeping a journal and reading it out loud is one of the best ways to gain insight to your thoughts which create your universe.

Epictetus said, “Write them, read them aloud, and talk to yourself and others about them.”

Journaling is important because it creates a space amid the relentless mind chatter from which to pause, collect, organize and untangle. Journaling enables us to set things down, sort through them, unpack them, understand them and heal them. I believe that keeping a journal is one of the healthiest things that we can do, fundamental to emotional well-being and on a par with regular exercise, a healthy diet, and plenty of sleep.

I’ve included several Stoic thoughts that can serve as a reminder as well as providing a clearer view regarding our perspectives.

As Marcus Aurelius’ said, “The quality of your life will be determined by the quality of your thoughts”

Now put your thoughts down on paper!

Clarity — Remember, the most important task is to separate the things that are in your control from those that are not in your control. This allows us to get real clarity about what to focus on in life.
 “It’s not activity that disrupts people, but false conceptions of things that drive them mad.” Seneca

Equanimity — (Mental calmness) Passions are the source of suffering. “A real man doesn’t give way to anger and discontent,” Marcus Aurelius reminded himself, “and such a person has strength, courage and endurance—unlike the angry and the complaining.” Calmness is strength.

Awareness — Accurate self-assessment is essential. Know thyself, was the dictum from the Oracle at Delphi. Knowing your strengths is just as important as knowledge of your weakness, and ignorance of either is ego.
“Nothing is more hostile to a firm grasp on knowledge than self-deception.” Zeno

Unbiased Thought —command to himself. Our life is colored by our thoughts, and so to be driven by this bias or that bias—this delusion or that false impression—is to send your whole existence off-kilter.
“Objective judgement, now at this very moment,” -Marcus Aurelius

Right Action — It’s not just about clear thoughts, but clear thoughts that lead to clear and right action.
“First, tell yourself what kind of person you want to be; then do what you have to do.”-Epictetus
“Don’t talk about what a good man is like. Be one.” -Marcus Aurelius

Problem Solving — Are you vexed by daily obstacles or do you throw yourself into solving them? “This is what we’re here for,” Seneca said. No one said life was easy. No one said it would be fair. Let’s make progress where we can.

Duty — “Whatever anyone does or says,” “I’m bound to the good...Whatever anyone does or says, I must be what I am and show my true colors.” -Marcus Aurelius
He was talking about duty. Duty to his country, to his family, to humankind, to his talents, to the philosophy he had learned.  (Don’t preach your philosophy; embody it!)

Pragmatism — If the food is bitter, toss it out. If there are brambles in the path, go around. Don’t expect perfection. Be ready to be flexible and creative. Life demands it.

Resiliency — Do you want to count on good luck (passive) or be prepared for anything that happens (prepared)? “Let come what may” because we have cultivated inner-strength and resilience.

Kindness — Be hard on yourself, and understanding of others. See every person you meet, as an opportunity for kindness and compassion. Nothing can stop you from being virtuous, from being good. That’s on you.

Amor Fati — Don’t just accept what happens, love it! Because it’s for the best. Because you will make it for the best. Embrace everything with a smile. Every obstacle provides a path for growth…for adaptation

Memento Mori — We’re strong but we’re not invincible. We were born mortal and nothing can change that.

Seneca said, “prepare our minds as if we’d come to the very end of life.” Let us put nothing off, let us live each moment fully.

The Diet ‘khor ba (Circling)

“I yearn to be free of pain, but rush straight to it; I long for happiness, but foolishly crush it like an enemy” -Shantideva

‘khor ba, in Tibetan means circling, This “circling” is an endless round of compulsive flight and fixation. We feel compelled to struggle ahead completely blinded by the emotional highs that bring us right back to where we first began.


Optimism- This time is different!!!

Excitement- This is new!!!

Thrill- I’m seeing changes!!!!!

Cockiness- Haters gonna hate!!!!

Euphoria- Look at me now!!!!!

Anxiety- How can I keep this up?

Denial- This can’t be happening?

Fear- What will they think?

Desperation- What will I do?

Panic- No!!!!

Capitulation- I quit

Despondency- There’s absolutely no hope

Depression- There’s nothing left

Hope relief- This sounds interesting?

Optimism- This time is different!!!


“If you look for truth, you may find comfort in the end; if you look for comfort you will not get either comfort or truth, only soft soap and wishful thinking to begin, and in the end, despair.”
-C.S. Lewis

IT’S NOT THE FOOD!

Personal awareness precedes personal transformation

Tips:

Paradigm Shift - A fundamental change in approach or underlying assumptions

The reason we don’t change for long is because we have a set of beliefs that keep us who we are, not who we want to be

Things don’t change…we change


Traditional Method (externals)

What?

What can I do to lose weight?

How?

I’m going to restrict my food, and exercise more

Why?

I want to look better


Transformation Method (internals)

What?

What can I do to get what I want out of life?

How?

Personal awareness of thoughts

-Internals are primary (self-awareness)

- External are secondary (diets, exercise)

Why?

Because I’m important and I want to fully experience all of what life has to give.

“The day you decide you are more interested in being aware of your thoughts than you are in the thoughts themselves - that is the day you will find your way out” - Michael Singer

5 Steps to Euthymia

Eu.thy.mia (yu-thi-me-a) Energetic tranquility


Principle 1: Acknowledge
There is only one person you can change. You can’t change things outside of your control.

“You have power over your mind – not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.”
― Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

Be mindful…Recognize/accept the events in your life that you do and don’t have control over. If you focus on events outside of your control, you are wasting energy and fostering negative emotions. You can’t change events; you can only change your attitude towards them. Through this realization our mind can become impenetrable. So long as we can control our attitudes and reactions, we can very well never be negatively influenced by outside events.

Principle 2: Contentment
Don’t fall prey to modern society’s materialistic nature.

“Wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants.”
― Epictetus

You can't buy happiness. Tranquility is something that comes from within.

“There’s no dollar sign on a piece of mind” -The Zack Brown Band

Principle 3: Appreciation/Gratitude
Picture life without the people and possessions you have to truly appreciate them.

“Do not indulge in dreams of having what you have not, but reckon up the chief of the blessings you do possess, and then thankfully remember how you would crave for them if they were not yours.”     ― Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

We’ve realized now that wanting more leads to dissatisfaction…so how do we find happiness? The key lies in gratitude. We must appreciate all that we have and find joy in it. Ironically, in modern times, we already have everything we need.

Principle 4: Do the right thing
Be genuinely cheerful (passion) in all your interactions. “A man thus grounded must, whether he wills or not, necessarily be attended by constant cheerfulness and a joy that is deep and issues from deep within, since he finds delight in his own resources, and desires no joys greater than his inner joys.”― Seneca

Now, utilizing the stoic principles, our happiness can become independent of other factors; we should be cheerful all the time as stoics because we desire nothing more than human experience. If we desired more, we could allow ourselves to be disappointed. This doesn’t mean that stoics can’t enjoy the finer things in life…it just means we shouldn’t think of them as necessary for our happiness. Only providing goodness to the world through helping people and advancing society…something we each are able to do on a daily basis, can make us truly fulfilled.

Principle 5: Embody
Practicing your values beats preaching them.

“Don’t explain your philosophy. Embody it.”
― Epictetus

Stoicism must be practiced if you want to influence the world in a better way. Ask yourself regularly, “What’s the best way to act in this situation?” You should be looking to make choices based on your personal values to increase the greater good. Live by your moral code.

To Summarize: 

-Don’t get caught up in materialism

-Let your cheerful attitude (passion) elevate your colleagues to bring them up; perform work diligently and for the greater good

-Recognize and acknowledge what’s in and out of your control…don’t let things out of your control affect your joy

-When frustrating things happen, breathe, recognize your emotion and the reason for it, and let it pass. You can’t do anything about it anyway. All that you can control is your reaction, and all you can do is embody goodness and appreciate all you have, which is something I’m sure we’ll all find joy in.

"You are here for my benefit, though rumor paints you otherwise." And everything is turned to one's advantage when he greets a situation like this: You are the very thing I was looking for. Truly whatever arises in life is the right material to bring about your growth and the growth of those around you. This, in a word, is art -- and this art called "life" is a practice suitable to both men and gods. Everything contains some special purpose and a hidden blessing; what then could be strange or arduous when all of life is here to greet you like an old and faithful friend?”                                             -Marcus Aurelius

Amygdala Hijack (Social media)

Have you ever sent an email or posted a Facebook comment that you've dreaded later? If so, there's a high probability that your brain has been hijacked by an ancient structure in the lower mid-brain area that represents our personal "smoke detector". The Amygdala.

Amygdala hijacking is an immediate and disproportionate emotional response to a stimulus that has triggered it. This is because the stimulus is perceived as a threat to one’s emotional stability. This is produced because the amygdala prevents the activation of other areas of the brain, especially the    neocortex. Emotions end up dominating the individual’s behavior. Also, it shuts off the area of the brain that makes us more rational... more human.

“Intense negative emotions absorb all of the individual’s attention, serving as an obstacle to any attempt to attend to other things.”
-Daniel Goleman

The frontal area of the cortex that is inhibited in the hijacking is the one responsible for our logical thinking and the planning out of our actions. Instead, the amygdala forms part of the most primitive parts of the brain. It’s the one that regulates our emotions (flight or flight). Thus, our logical thinking winds up subordinated to the command of our emotions.

“You have to keep in mind that impulses are the vehicle of emotions and the seed of every impulse is an expansive feeling that seeks to express itself through action.”
-Daniel Goleman

Three Fitness Truths

1. Physical looks are 80% nutrition and 20% exercise

2. Training specificity is extremely important in reaching your goals

-Cardio…You don’t increase caloric expenditure by shrinking your muscles

-Weight training (not circuit training)… Increases caloric expenditure, builds bone density, and aids in preventing injuries in other sports.

3. Your body is a reflection of how you think. The reason we don’t change for long is because we have a set of beliefs that keeps us where we are, not where we want to be

Changing your body is really about changing your mind