Perhaps

                        “I cried because I had no shoes until I saw a man with no feet”

                                                                                                           Buddha

 She doesn’t like me, Everyone looks at me when I walk in the gym, I’m never going to lose weight, what if I embarrass myself, What if he has a wreck, the weather is going to get really bad, this is the best I’ve ever had, this is the worst I’ve ever had, I’m always awkward, I’m a good person… bad things shouldn’t happen to me,  I “always’, “never”, or “ever”,  do a good enough job.

Statements like these are call cognitive distortions.  These distortions are based on flawed irrational thoughts which influence our emotions, leading to low self-esteem, depression, and extreme anxiety.
Sometimes, learning to consider alternative ways of viewing the events in our lives can be beneficial by reducing negative feelings and thoughts and learning to see the potential good, as well as the potential for a seemingly bad situation to not be all bad. This, of course, takes much practice, but is within everyone's reach.  (We perceive…believe…emotions…behavior…consequences)

                      “Men are disturbed not by things, but by the view which they take of them”

                                                                                        ~ Epictetus

 Perhaps (Buddhist parable)

Long ago in China there was an old farmer. With the same horse this old farmer had plowed and worked his land for many years when one day his horse suddenly ran away. As news of this reached his neighbors, the old farmer was met with sympathy. Neighbors visited throughout the day saying, "Wow, what bad luck to have your horse run away!"

The old farmer would think for a moment then say softly, "Perhaps..."

The next morning the old farmer awoke to find his horse had returned. With the horse were several wild horses who had apparently followed the horse home. Neighbors rejoiced, visiting the old farmer to express how happy they were for his sudden good fortune.

The old farmer would think for a moment then say softly, "Perhaps..."

Shortly after, the old farmer's son decided to try to ride one of the wild horses. Climbing on the horses back, the boy knocked the animal hard with his leg shouting for the horse to go. Startled, and probably a little annoyed, the horse flung the boy off its back. The old farmer's son broke his leg in the fall. Again, neighbors came to offer their sympathies for the misfortune, "What a horrible string of bad luck you're having!"

The old farmer would think for a moment then say softly, "Perhaps..."

The very next day, military officials came into the village with orders to draft young men into military service. As they went from home to home, rounding up young men, they made their way to the old farmer's house. Upon seeing the farmer's son with his broken leg they decided to move on, leaving the boy alone. Once again, neighbors came to share words of congratulations to the old farmer for the good fortune to have his son passed by.

And again, the old farmer would think for a moment then say softly, "Perhaps..."

 When the soul cries out, it is a sign that we have arrived at a necessary, mature stage of self-reflection. The secret is not to get stuck there dithering or wringing your hands, but to move forward by resolving to heal yourself. Philosophy asks us to move into courage. Its remedy is the unblinking excavation of the faulty and specious premises on which we base our lives and our personal identity.

                                                                                                                             ~ Epictetus