Are you ok? How bout those Cowboys!

“Most people tend to delude themselves into thinking that freedom comes from doing what feels good or what fosters comfort and ease. The truth is that people who subordinate reason to their feelings (deflect-my interpretation) of the moment are actually slaves of their desires and aversions. They are ill prepared to act effectively and nobly when unexpected challenges occur, as they inevitably will” ---Epictetus.  

 Psychology today defines deflection as, “the ignoring or turning away from an internal or external emotional issue in order to prevent full recognition.”

Deflection is the unyielding resistance between awareness and action in our quest for cognitive liberation.  Deflection is psychology’s preferred term because it describes the last moment at which we avoid direct contact in favor of a fragmented, less satisfying encounter with the desire we have been working towards.
Example…

The conversation seems too personal (hits too close to home), the relationship becomes too intense, the eye contact too direct, and the feelings too real…. so we deflect the full impact of reality and pretend to be satisfied with something less.
People who struggle with health and nutrition issues spend a lot of their time deflecting.  This can make it extremely difficult to help on many levels; people are misinformed about nutrition and content with their knowledge….they are unaware of the relationship/attachments they have associated with food and don’t want to talk about it, and never satisfied with what they have. They always want more without doing the specific work because it would require recognition of self.   

Deflectors have a hard time clarifying what they really want, or looking at their past history in an authentic way, so they frantically try to fill up the ever expanding void with materialistic objects or helpless personal conditions which prevent them from ever taking responsibility.                        (Existential vacuum and victimization)

Deflection forces us to make contact with our desires in a halfhearted, dampened down way, and so we always leave an experience with the vague feeling that we were cheated, or that there has to be something more. Since you unconsciously lie to yourself about the reason that your contact was unfulfilling, you are likely to project this feeling and blame on others; husband, wife, family, friends, job or government for a problem that really belongs to you.

Like all the issues we would like to change, deflection can also serve a vital function for the individual. Some memories are too painful and some realities too unacceptable. Deflection allows a person to not experience the painful/difficult moments in life. This pattern will always prohibit the true autonomy that one seeks on his or her journey toward enlightenment.

If cognitive liberation is what you seek, then facing internal and external issues are the most important step in personal transformation. (If you can’t face it, you can’t fix it).  Challenge yourself in a way that attacks the issues you avoid, rather than suppressing the delusional past. 

“Mindfulness is the art of mastering your life, not running away from it”

The next time you feel an emotion that triggers avoidance, ask yourself, “What’s the worst thing that can happen?”  You’ll find that the temporary pain of honest recognition is worth the lifelong contentment that emerges from a life lived acknowledging reality.

                          “It’s better to acknowledge the storm than to pretend it does not exist”